Dec/2019

Film Review: ‘Machete Kills’!!

by Gumbercules9000 on Oct 14th, 2013

Hi, Bryan Here….

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‘Machete don’t tweet’ is one of the lines that is uttered by Danny Trejo’s iconic character, Machete Cortez in this new hilarious fun-as-hell sequel by Austin director Robert Rodriguez. It’s one of several “Machete don’t” pieces of dialogue that is said throughout the film. It’s funny, because Rodriguez actually made a ‘Star Wars‘ film with Machete in it this time around. Not only do we see machete lightsabers and similar characters in the ‘Star Wars’ universe, but we also get carbonite and landspeeders, and at the end of the film, it all comes full circle, as you’ll say, “I just watched a ‘Star Wars’ movie made by Robert Rodriguez. With an all-star cast and even more blood, guts, and kills than the first one, this over-the-top and highly entertaining sequel will sure make decent returns to warrant a third sequel, which is heavily promoted in the form of a trailer before the film starts and at the end of the film entitled ,’Machete Kills Again…In Space‘.

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Hi, Bryan Here….

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This new poster below is all sorts of kick-ass.  It features the beautiful Sofia Vergara as the deadly Desdemona which looks like she has a unique skill. I loved the original one, and I know we live in a perfect world when ‘Machete‘ gets two films. The cast includes: Danny Trejo, Michelle Rodriguez, Sofia Vergara, Amber Heard, Charlie Sheen, Lady Gaga, Antonio Banderas, Jessica Alba, Demián Bichir, Alexa Vega, Vanessa Hudgens, Cuba Gooding, Jr., William Sadler, Marko Zaror and Mel Gibson.

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Hi, Bryan Here….

Director Robert Rodriguez took to his twitter account to announce that Lady Gaga will be making her film debut in his sequel to ‘Machete’ called ‘Machete Kills’. She will be playing La Chameleon.  Rodriguez tweeted, “I just finished working with @LadyGaga on @MacheteKills, she kicked SO MUCH ASS! Holy Smokes. Blown away”!  Then Lady GaGa tweeted, “Yes its true, I will be making my debut as an actress ln the amazing MACHETE KILLS BY @RODRIGUEZ IM SO EXCITED!!! AH! Filming was insane”.

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Hi, Bryan Here….

Charlie Sheen announced earlier today that he will be on the big screen once again as he is joining the cast of Robert Rodriguez’s ‘Machete Kills’, the sequel to ‘Machete’.  More good news, is that Sheen will play the United States of America.  It’s not going to be a large role, but it will be one of importance and great humor.

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Hi, Bryan Here…

Mel Gibson is in final negotiatons to play one of the supporting roles in Robert Rodriguez’s sequel to ‘Machete’.  We have written about the sequel to ‘Machete a few times before on the site and we are very excited about another adventure with Machete.  The sequel is called ‘Machete Kills’ and will bring Danny Trejo back as the machete wielding badass according to Deadline.

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Machete To Return in ‘Machete Kills’!!!

by Gumbercules9000 on Feb 6th, 2012

Hi Bryan Here….

“This time, they fucked with the wrong Mexican again!”  Robert Rodriguez is teaming with producer Alexander Rodnyansky to chop up a sequel to ‘Machete’.  This will be the 2nd film out of a planned trilogy in the ‘machete’ universe.  The second film will be called ‘Machete Kills’ and Rodriguez and Rodnyansky are trying to get everyone in the first film to come back for the sequel.  Well at least all the people who made it to the end without being chopped up, sliced into ribbons, decapitated, or who had their intestines sprawled out and used as a rope to swing from floor to floor.

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Hi, Bryan Here…..

Austin native Robert Rodriguez gave a little bit of info on some of his much anticipated sequels to some of his cult hits at SXSW thisyear.  He talked about his production company Quickdraw Productions, getting into the animated field with a couple of projects on the schedule as well as the long awaited ‘Sin City’ sequel and ‘Machete’ sequel.

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Bryan Has A Ball With Machete (Machete Review)

by Gumbercules9000 on Sep 5th, 2010

Just a warning before you read this review.  This review has a few minor spoilers in it so stop reading if you do not want to know anything about “Machete”.

Ever since Grindhouse was released and the world was given the ever so small glimpse of “Machete”, I knew I wanted to  see it as quickly as possible.  After hearing about the casting decisions, I wanted even more to see this film with Robert De Niro, Michelle Rodriguez, Steven Segal, Jeff Fahey, Jessica Alba, and Don Johnson lending themselves to this “fun as hell film.

Now I really enjoy most the films of Robert Rodriguez including: El Mariachi, Desperado, Sin City, Dusk Till Dawn, and his segment of Four Rooms, but I really do not care for Once Upon a Time in Mexico, or the Spy Kids films, Sharkboy, or Shorts all that much.  So I was just a tad bit uneasy that “Machete” would fall into the latter category of films I did not like.  Well safe to say, that “Machete” falls into the films I love.

It’s time of release has been coincided with Sylvester Stallone’s “The Expendables”.  Now Sly made Expendables with trying to make it realistic and true to nature whereas “Machete” is far from that.  It is a work of complete off the wall awesomeness and far from reality which makes it that much better.

Now you should know that “Machete” has balls to the wall gore throughout the film and naked women.  One of those naked ladies is Lindsay Lohan.  But you will get to see tons of decapitations, bloody head shots, tons of entrails, amputations, and a gigantic heap of machete kills.  Even at one point “Machete” guts an evil doer and pulls out his intestines and jumps out the 4th story hospital window and swings into the 3rd story window on the intestines.  That was an “OHMYGOD!”  and there are plenty of those.

Danny Trejo was born to play this role.  He moves through each frame with such a cool swagger that it looks like the whole film was shot in slow motion.  Trejo just owns this movie.  And his surrounding supporting cast is just as good.

Steven Segal plays the evil man which is out of the ordinary for Segal, but Segal plays this role so easily and it makes me wonder, why he hasn’t been a horrible villain more often.  He is great as a villain.  I must say that Segal’s death is one of the best and funniest deaths I have ever seen in a film.  It made me laugh hysterically.

Cheech Marin well is Cheech Marin and has the best dialogue exchange with Trejo in the entire film.  Cheech is just a great character actor and it shows along with Fahey’s evil republican role.  They just do such a great job of it.

Now what would a Rodriguez film be without the us of make-up artist legend Tom Savini.  Yes.  Savini might have the best cameo roles ever.  Right up there with Bill Murray in Zombieland.  You might remember Savini as “Sex Machine” from Dusk Till Dawn.  The character with the gun attached to his privates.  Well Savini in this film plays “Osiris”.  A very skilled hardcore hitman.  Every scene with “Osiris” is gold.  Let us hope they make a spin-off movie of “Osiris” or at least a sequel to “Machete”.

This film’s reason is to make an excellent exploitation or should I say “Mex-ploitation” film that takes one hardcore badass seek his vengeance and justice through the evil people of the world.  Simple as that.

Loved it and am looking forward to more.

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‘Bullet Head’ zooms by on Blu-ray!

by Gumbercules9000 on Dec 14th, 2017

Bullet Head‘ is coming to Blu-ray on January 9th, which is a visual feast of violence and crime, starring Adrien Brody, Antonio Banderas, and John Malkovich. These three criminals come together and pull of a big heist, but then become trapped in a warehouse. It’s excellent to see these three play roles like this for sure. Below, you’ll find all the information about the Blu-ray, which comes with behind the scenes featurettes, stunt work, and more.

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Hey guys, Jana here,

Danny Trejo returns alongside new co-stars Jake Busey and Elysia Rotaru in the latest chapter of the gritty supernatural western from Universal 1440 Entertainment – ‘Dead Again in Tombstone‘. The film will be available on Blu-ray, DVD and Digital HD September 12, 2017.

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Hey guys, Jana here,

PicMonkey Collage

Scream Factory is pairing up two action-packed thrillers in one of their famous DVD and Blu-ray debut sets. This time Scream Factory is working with IFC Midnight to present “Cabin Fever‘ and ‘The Pack‘ for home video debut July 5, 2016.

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Mel Gibson In Talks To Direct ‘Hacksaw Ridge’!!!

by Red Zeppelbon on Nov 22nd, 2014

Hey guys, Jana here,

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Mel Gibson has been absent from the directing scene the last few years after he famously chose not to exercise his Miranda right to “remain silent” when he was pulled over for DUI. Once the incident was made public, he was systematically black-balled from the major film world. Oh, he’s still been in a few films that were by no means a success. Robert Downey, JR showed loyalty by using his voice to beg for the ban to be lifted on Gibson’s career. He was given a part in ‘The Expendables 3‘ and a part in ‘Machete Kills‘ that might have been the beginning of his return to mainstream media.

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Hey guys, Jana here,

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Pierce Brosnan has had dozens of roles in his film career. He’s been James Bond, a master criminal, Robinson Crusoe, he sung for us in ‘Mamma Mia‘ and a wise centaur in ‘Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief‘. He can now add to that list designer drug creator. Brosnan inked a deal with Aaron Kaufman in his directorial debut, ‘Urge‘.

 

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Fernando’s Worst Movies of The Year 2013!!

by Gumbercules9000 on Dec 31st, 2013

Fernando M., Here….

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Well folks, it was quite a year at the cinema.  After totaling everything up, I was lucky enough to watch 35 films in theaters.  There’s some great films that I missed, and some that I avoided like the plague, but out of those that I did catch, here’s the WORST of 2013.

Be sure to check out Fernando’s BEST LIST BY CLICKING HERE!!

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Hi, Bryan Here….

I wrote a story last month on Robert Rodriguez talking about his plans for the much awaited ‘Sin City’ sequel and ‘Machete’ sequel.  You can read that story HERE.  Well, today Dimension officially announced the ‘Sin City’ sequel which will be titled, ‘Sin City: A Dame To Kill For’.  This is going to be great.  Frank Miller’s story is fantastic and might be my favorite one of the series.  The other stories are being kept under wraps and casting is expected to start next week with most of the original cast returning.  Shooting should being this summer and 3D is a big possibility.  I’m also curious to see if Tarantino will guest direct a scene or two like he did in the first film.

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