logoFor those of you not already in the know, Heroes of Cosplay is a “reality” show currently airing on the Syfy network. Next week, the program will be airing its season finale, the second of two episodes filmed at Kansas City’s Planet Comicon. In this contest, the participants will be asked to compete as teams. Three of the show’s stars will be portraying characters from American McGee’s Alice, while yet another three will be recreating characters from How To Train Your Dragon.

While I’m certain their costumes and skits will be entertaining, I’m also of the opinion that the entire cast needs a bonding experience. To that end, I would like to suggest that they enter a group competition in the future as the characters from Pixar’s Toy Story movies.

And I like to think it would go a little something like this.

THE CAST

yayawoody

YAYA as WOODY

Character Traits: Old guard. Primary concern of maintaining personal reputation.

Personal Quote: “Somebody’s poisoned the waterhole!”

 

monikabuzz

MONIKA as BUZZ LIGHTYEAR

Character Traits: New guard. Mostly joyless. Views task as a means to an end.

Personal Quote: “To infinity, and beyond!”

 

chloejessie

CHLOE as JESSIE

Character Traits: Capable of pure joy. Easily accepted into pre-existing groups.

Personal Quote: “Yodel-ay-hee-hoo!”

 

victoriamrs potato head

VICTORIA as MRS. POTATO HEAD

Character Traits: Often unfinished. Constant nag to spouse.

Personal Quote: “It’s a miracle!”

 

rikihamm

RIKI as HAMM

Character Traits: Wealth of information. Requires cork to function properly.

Personal Quote: “C’mon. Let’s go see how much we’re going for on eBay.”

 

jessicaslinky dog

JESSICA as SLINKY DOG

Character Traits: Often stretched too thin. Loyal to a fault.

Personal Quote: “Buzz, Buzz! My backend’s going to Baton Rouge!”

 

hollyrex

HOLLY as REX

Character Traits: Ball of insecurity. Doubts own abilities.

Personal Quote: “Well, I mean, uh, I don’t like confrontations!”

 

beckygreen alien

BECKY as GREEN ALIEN

Character Traits: Largely indistinguishable from others of her kind. Easily impressed.

Personal Quote: “Ooooooooh.”

 

jessewheezy

JESSE as WHEEZY THE PENGUIN

Character Traits: Unable to draw attention to himself. Often forgotten.

Personal Quote: None.

 

Be sure to tune in to the season finale of Heroes of Cosplay on Tuesday, September 17th. Only on Syfy.

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By Bryan Kluger

Former husky model, real-life Comic Book Guy, genre-bending screenwriter, nude filmmaker, hairy podcaster, pro-wrestling idiot-savant, who has a penchant for solving Rubik's Cubes and rolling candy cigarettes on unreleased bootlegs of Frank Zappa records.

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