Jan/2015

‘Rocky Horror Picture Show’ Remake: NO. JUST NO!!!

by Gumbercules9000 on Oct 23rd, 2011

The Bishop Charlotte Reporting….

NOT OKAY.

NOT.

OKAY.

Do you remember the first time you saw The Rocky Horror Picture Show? Walked into a theater, got the red V marked on your forehead, received your baggie containing your tools. Maybe, like me, you got to go up on stage and be the bride, throw the bouquet that Janet catches. You were nervous, excited, and sure that the experience was going to change your life.

Everything’s perfectly amusing, and then Tim Curry arrives on the scene in his heels and corset. A tiny man in a big way. He steals your heart as he steals Janet’s and Brad’s…well, not hearts but certainly other things. You dance the Time Warp, shield yourself from the rain with your newspaper, light your lighter. And yet…

Rocky Horror is good because it’s bad. The end.

You should not…CANNOT…try to make it better. There is nothing good ABOUT it. The music is ridiculous, the plot makes zero sense, and even the scenery looks like cardboard. We love it because it is a horrifically awful no-good movie.

MTV is remaking Rocky Horror in 2012, possibly with help from Fox. Lou Adler, executive producer of the original, is partnering with them to bring us this blasphemous monstrosity. Gail Berman and Lloyd Braun of BermanBraun will be executive producing this time around. There is no word so far on actors, director, or release date.

It will be two hours long, using the original script but potentially adding some new music.

WHAT.

It was weird enough when the Glee cast performed Rocky Horror on the show, but they weren’t trying to create a whole new image for it. They weren’t trying to take anything from it, or change it, because it doesn’t need it.

There is no reason for this other than money. This isn’t about art, or vision, or even fun. MTV is trying to milk some of the funds Rocky Horror has collected over the past three decades from its midnight theater showings.

We are offended. And I don’t mean the royal “We.” There will be flack and slander over this, MTV. You’d better be ready.


Post to Twitter Post to Facebook





Leave a Reply




ADVERTISEMENT

Movie Quotes

Good Will Hunting (1997)
Will Hunting:
[Sean is going through Will's profile. Inside we see are pictures of Will after brutal assaults by his foster parents] You ever have any, uh, experience with that?
Sean Maguire:
Twenty years of counseling, I've seen some pretty awful shit.
Will Hunting:
No. I mean, have you ever had any experience with that?
Sean Maguire:
Personally? Yeah. Yeah I have.
[Sean looks away for a moment]
Sean Maguire:
I'm sure it ain't good.
Will Hunting:
My father was an alcoholic. Mean fuckin' drunk. Used to come home hammered, looking to whale on someone. So I had to provoke him, so he wouldn't go after my mother and little brother. Interesting nights were when he wore his rings...
Will Hunting:
He used to just put a belt, a stick, and a wrench on the kitchen table and say, "Choose."
Sean Maguire:
Well, I gotta go with the belt there.
Will Hunting:
I used to go with the wrench.
Sean Maguire:
Why?
Will Hunting:
Cause fuck him, that' why.
Sean Maguire:
Your foster father?
Will Hunting:
Yeah.
[pause]
Will Hunting:
So what does it say? Will has an attachment disorder? Fear of abandonment? Is that why I broke up with Skylar?
Sean Maguire:
Didn't know you had. Wanna talk about it?
[Will shakes his head, stares off]
Sean Maguire:
Will, you see this, all this shit?
[Holds up the file, and drops it on his desk]
Sean Maguire:
It's not your fault.
Will Hunting:
[Softly, still staring off] I know...
Sean Maguire:
No you don't. It's not your fault.
Will Hunting:
[Serious] I know.
Sean Maguire:
No. Listen to me son. It's not your fault.
Will Hunting:
I know that.
Sean Maguire:
It's not your fault.
[Will is silent, eyes closed]
Sean Maguire:
It's not your fault.
Will Hunting:
[Will's eyes open, misty already] Don't fuck with me Sean. Not you.
Sean Maguire:
It's not your fault.
[Will shoves Sean back, and then, hands trembling, buries his face in his hands. Will begins sobbing. Sean puts his hands on Will's shoulders, and Will grabs him and holds him close, crying]
Will Hunting:
Oh my God! I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry Sean!
[Will continues sobbing in Sean's arms]
The Movie Quotes