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Angelic Heel once more!

It’s always exciting when the WWE travels across the pond, and the London, England crowd was as rowdy as ever as RAW aired this week! The WWE Universe got to witness as business picked up in budding feuds as the WWE Superstars threw caution to the wind as they barreled forth to Extreme Rules (which can be seen on the WWE Network, free for new subscribers in April). The night saw a Diva’s Battle Royal, stipulations for the WWE World Heavy Weight Championship match announced, and much much more! Wanna know what happened on this installment of the flagship show? Find Out Now!

 

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John Cena vs Bad News Barrett

United States Championship Match

Winner: John Cena

 London was a city of my own heart as they attempted to boo United States Champion, John Cena, right out of the building. The spotlight whore of course decided that his time was now as he kicked off the show. He attempted to win over the crowd with a cheap pop by saying he thought that Wrestlemania should be held in London, but the cheers for Cena did not last long. Once again, John issued his open challenge to anyone in the back to try and claim the title that Cena bullied Rusev out of.

And who should accept? Why England’s own Bad News Barrett. He was welcomed as a hero to the home town crowd who instantly began to chant his name as he walked to the ring. Once int the ring, the battle that took place was brutally physical. No punches were pulled as John Cena and Bad News Barrett clashed. The bare knuckle brawling style of Barrett had Cena on the defensive for a good portion of the match. It was a back and forth battle but Wade hit moves like Winds of Change and Wasteland for close two counts. A frustrated Barrett prepared Cena for his devastating finisher, the Bull Hammer Elbow, but the trixie Cena ducked under and caught Wade for yet another AA to retain his title.

As John Cena celebrated his victory, out came Lana. She distracted John long enough for Rusev to come up behind the champion and blindside him with a chain. It is at this point that Lana informs us that the match between Rusev and Cena will be a Russian Chain match to determine the United States Champion.

I so enjoyed this match. It was  back and forth brawl that had BNB looking like he belonged in the ring with Cena. He had John on the ropes more often than not and he had the full support (except one really loud fan) of the English crowd behind him. John Cena to his credit is doing things to make his matches more entertaining. The spring board stunner as a set up to the AA is a nice and exciting touch.  Rusev coming in at the end to end the parade of super Cena was something I definitely squealed about. There is something that tickles me pink to watch John Cena get his ass beat.

 

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Diva Battle Royal for the # 1 Contender Spot For the Diva’s Title

Winner: Paige

 As the bell rang, things in the ring dissolved into sheer chaos as the Divas ripped into one another. Paige was the hometown favorite and she wasted little time making her presence felt. The Divas had a decent battle royal and ladies got eliminated left and right. The other favorite Naomi, battled the other Divas with equal passion and ferocity in an attempt to secure her rightful place as the number one contender. However, her hopes and dreams came crashing down around her as Paige eliminated her to win the Battle Royal and become the #1 contender for Nikki Bella’s Diva’s Championship.

After match, Byron Saxton interviewed Paige in the ring to get her thoughts and feelings on having won another shot at the Championship. Paige said that there was nothing like winning it in front of her hometown crowd and that this was most definitely HER HOUSE. One Diva who disagreed? Naomi. In an uncharacteristic blind sided attack on the new number one contender, Naomi channeled her frustrations on having the spot taken from her and whooped Paige’s ass. The crowd booed and Naomi left with a large smile on her face.

Welcome to the dark side Naomi, you’ll like it here, we have cookies! Yes ladies and gents it looks as if Naomi has joined the ranks of my people. The obvious would be her attack on Paige. The less obvious: she started the match with an Uso shirt on. As she was leaving up the ramp, no Uso shirt. It’s the small things on notices after all. But she also had an interview and stated that she was now going to be doing things and looking out for herself. You go girl! More power to you!! Oh and Paige as #1 contender? yay? Okay.. I’m over it. Seen it and avoided getting the t-shirt. My prediction is at Extreme Rules we will see a Triple Threat match for the Diva’s title. Naomi WILL make her presence felt.

 

Kalisto

The Lucha Dragons vs The Ascension

Winner: The Lucha Dragons

 In a rivalry that began down in NXT, the Lucha Dragons took on the Ascension in tag team action.It looked as if Konor and Viktor would make short work of the high fliers as they grounded Sin Cara with quick tags and stellar team work. But The faceless one was able to create an opening and tag in his smaller faster partner. Once Kalisto hit the ring he was a blur of motion and speed as he flipped and flew around the ring causing confusion and turmoil to the Ascension. In the end it was the combination of Kalisto’s Salida del Sol followed by a Sin Cara senton that picked up the win for the Lucha Dragons.

Just a fun entertaining match. It did add yet another chapter to the Lucha Dragon/Ascension rivalry but it was much of the same that we saw down in NXT. And as fun as the match was, I can’t help but feel like Konor and Viktor have been used as enhancement talent for the Lucha Dragons. My beloved Ascension are better than this, and it’s been much too long since they’ve really been in a match. They should be going after the tag titles. I feel like I should start a #GiveTheAscensionAChance movement. My bad boys need love too, they were the longest reigning NXT Tag Champions, it’s high time they get the respect they deserve!

 

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Roman Reigns Addresses His Loss at Wrestlemania 31

Booker T begins the segment by introducing Roman Reigns. The London crowd again showed their feelings as Reigns was met with chants of Suplex City and Big Show getting thanked for keeping Roman away from a title match with the Savior of the WWE and World Heavy Weight Champion, Seth Rollins.  Reigns spoke on the main event of Wrestlemania and how close he had come to beating Brock Lesnar (seriously Roman, it wasn’t that close. That Beast still had plenty of fight left in him.) But that his moment had been stolen by Seth Rollins.

Now to Roman’s credit, he did give credit to Seth for doing exactly what he was supposed to do. Wait for the opportunity and capitalize on it. However, Roman vowed that since he has beaten Rollins before, he could and would beat him once more. But that it was the Big show that had screwed him out of that chance with a knock out punch. Que the Big Show to appear on the titantron to issue threats and Blah Blah Blah. Roman, of course called him out on his cowardice of being a titantron giant and no real threat.

As Roman made his way back up the ramp and into the back, that titantron giant showed the powerhouse that he was no push over. He threw roman into the stage set, introduced Roman’s body to the car a couple times and then when the WWE Universe didn’t think it could get any worse for the Big Dog, it did. Show then choke slammed Roman Reigns on to the roof of the car and left him more than a little unconscious.

Definitely enjoyed this. For all you Roman Reigns haters who think he still sucks on the mic, eat a big helping of STFU. He rocked his time on the mic. He has improved leaps and bounds. He is by far not the worst person on the microphone but felt more natural and he gets better and more comfortable each time he is on the microphone. And this segment also showed that he can take a beating. Well we learned that from the Brock Lesnar trip to Suplex City, but being choke slammed on the roof of a car is something different entirely. I will even give props to Big Show. Though Something Roman said sticks with me and I’m going to call attention to it. He said that he could “retire” the Big Show. At Extreme Rules, I’m pretty sure it’s gonna be Roman vs Show. Perhaps the stipulation will be that if Show loses, he retires. One can only hope…

 

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Randy Orton vs Cesaro

Winner: Randy Orton

At the beginning, the WWE Universe was informed that if Randy won his battle with Cesaro, then he would get to pick a stipulation for his match at Extreme Rules against the undisputed future, Seth Rollins. A year ago, Cesaro came out on top of their last encounter and he looked to make history repeat itself as he brought fight to the Viper. But interference from Tyson Kidd ended up getting his partner disqualified and the win to Orton. However, the Corporate Demon interjected his authority to make decisions, and said that he would not allow such an important match to be decided via a DQ and restarted the match, this time as a handicap match of the Tag Team Champions vs the Apex Predator.

 

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Randy Orton vs Cesaro & Tyson Kidd

Handicap Match

Winner: Randy Orton

 So with the match restarted the WWE Tag Team champions wasted no time double teaming Orton and stomping him silly before the ref forced them to abide by the rules of the match. Randy weathered the storm of the double teaming Cesaro and Tyson Kidd and fought back as only a veteran of the ring can. It was an RKO out of nowhere onto a flying Tyson Kidd that earned Randy his right to name a stipulation for the match against Seth Rollins.

Both of these matches were a bit on the short side but still enjoyable. Orton hit his explosive powerslam that is just a work of art. Though I will call attention to a bit of a botch on Tyson Kidd’s part. Nothing too serious but the match did seem a bit sloppy there at the beginning. But all three recovered and ended up putting forth a quality product that was just a bit of fun and enjoyed as that. The Viper is picking up a bit of momentum as he heads into Extreme Rules.

 

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Dean Ambrose vs Adam Rose

Winner: Dean Ambrose

 Hey look its Adam Rose and the Rosebuds… yay? Oh hey look!! It’s Dean F*cking Ambrose!! Hell yeah! Okay this match was quick and a bit forgettable with some back and forth and a little hint of offense from Rose, but the party goer at a Dirty Deeds in the end and was pinned by the Lunatic Fringe. Easy peasy, it’s time to build momentum and get back into the swing of things Deano.

So I had mixed feelings about this, first I was like, why in the blue hell is Dean facing Adam Rose? Did Rose lose a bet and his punishment to get sacrificed to the Unstable one? I did find it amusing that the Rosebuds parted like the Red see to let Ambrose through to the ring. The match was fast, almost a blink and you’ll miss it sorta deal. But it was a sorely needed win for Dean, even if it was against Adam Rose. A win is a win.

 

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Stardust vs Fandango

Winner: Stardust

 The Cosmic superstar and the dancing superstar went at it in a heated one on one battle. For what? no one knows but it was a fun athletic contest that saw both Stardust and Fandango do their damnedest to put the other man down.  The short battle ended with a beautifully executed disaster kick from the WWE Superstar formerly known as Cody Rhodes. After the match Rosa entered the ring to console her dear Fandango, but the dancing superstar pushed her aside and exited the ring. He stated that he finally figured ot what his problem was, he was only sharing his dance with her, when he needed to be sharing it with the WWE Universe! And with that his old music hit and the whole of the WWE Universe was Fandangoing with Fandango and Rose Mendes was left in the ring wondering what in the world just happened. (Me too Rosa, me too)

Well this was short and sweet and got Stardust a decent win. I do so love his interaction with the crowd when they chant Cody at him. He just freaks out and goes nuts. It’s kinda cute actually. Not a knocked out Dolph Ziggler cute, but still cute.  And while I hate to lose a heel, it is interesting to see Fandango get love from the crowd after months of indifference especially after he came back all new and improved (still not sure how the was improved but I went with it. Go with the crazy, so much easier that way)

 

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Seth Rollins vs Kane

Winner: Seth Rollins

So this is a wee bit complicated so follow me. Earlier in the evening, we were told that Seth would be facing Dolph Ziggler and if he won he got to choose a stipulation for his match against the Viper. Or beloved Champion put his Architect skills to practice as he went to Kane and suggested that such a thing was not to be left to chance and that he should be in a match were he was guaranteed a win. Long story short, Kane drew that short straw. But he struggled with his pride and the words of his former tag team partner, the goat faced troll of an intercontinental Champion, Daniel Bryan.

So when it came time for the match, Seth came down expecting it to go a certain way. And Kane came down still in his suit so that’s what we all expected from the Corporate Demon as well. But then Kane started to undress… Until he was battle ready. And holy crap why is he assaulting Rollins?? Kane put Seth down! No Not in a chokeslam!! No don’t make the tombstone motion!! Oh Good he’s come to his senses and realized what’s best for business. Kane pulls Seth on top of him and takes the loss for the greater good of what is best for business.

It is interesting to see Kane’s mental struggle. I’m always for someone mentally torturing themselves for my amusement. However, to lay hands on the man he was taked with protected is just unforgivable. I do so hope that Triple H and Stephanie punish the demon for his audacity to chokeslam the WWE World Heavy Weight Champion.

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Damien Mizdow vs The Miz

Winner: Damien Mizdow

Not even a cheap shot by the Miz could get him the momentum to get the upper hand on his former stunt double. In a short match that saw Damien Mizdow take it to the Miz with his own moves, the WWE Universe saw Mizdow get one over on his former boss. Luckily, the Hollywood A Lister was able to avoid the humiliation of being on the receiving end of a Skull Crushing Finale, but it was a roll up that cost him the victory against Mizdow.

So at first I was confused why this match would happen now. But then I realized that it’s smarter than most people would be able to see. The Miz and Damien Mizdow have been coming to this for a good long while. All this does is add to the Miz’s humiliation and fire to get retribution on Damien for upstaging him. Especially since Damien arrived with Summer Rae to the ring. I see Extreme Rules being a match where the winner gets to keep the Hollywood character and Miz name.

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Ryback vs Luke Harper

Winner: Ryback

So the story here is not the brutally physical match between Luke Harper and Ryback. Yes it was a slobber knocker and both men are great at what they do. But the Real story is, after Ryback’s victory, via DQ because Harper used part of the announce table as a weapon, Dean Ambrose made his move for retribution against the swamp rat. Two times Luke Harper powerbombed Ambrose into really hard objects. It’s about time the Lunatic Fringe made Harper pay for the injuries. Luke escape however and the Unstable Dean Ambrose was left to seethe at the lost chance to really make Harper pay up.

So this thing between Harper and Ambrose is probably going to culminate at Extreme Rules. I’m still praying for a TLC match between the two, just on the principal that both ladders and tables have been used in this budding feud so far. It wouldn’t be hard to add chairs. Just leave the stairs by the ring. no more TLC and stairs. That was painful in a not fun way.

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Dolph Ziggler vs Neville

Winner: Dolph Ziggler

Since Dolph no longer had a match against Seth Rollins, he came out and issued an open challenge to the back. Who should accept? Why the longest reigning NXT champion, the man that gravity forgot, Neville! (Oh yes i totally fan girl squeed cuz really, this match was awesome before it started) This was by far the best match of the night as both superstars worked seamlessly together. Neville was everywhere and seemed to have an answer to anything Ziggler threw at him. Standing Moonsaults, flipping about, high flying, tight rope walking the barricade into a 450 splash onto a floored Dolph Ziggler are just a few of Neville’s match highlights.

But it was the ring awareness of Dolph that won him the match. He rolled and avoided the work of perfection that is the Red Arrow. Neville rolled with the momentum and shot back up only to catch a Zig Zag and Ziggler picked up the win. After the match Ziggy gave Neville props for a great match (and it was off the charts good) but the celebration was cut short as the Celtic Warrior crashed the party and delivered Brough Kicks to both men.

Just wow. I was on the edge of my seat through out the match in total amazement as I witnessed art in motion. There is so much about this match that equaled a win for all involved but it was the WWE Universe that came out on top. Both Dolph Ziggler and Neville gave all they had to the fans and fed off the crowd. The This is Awesomess and holy shits rang through the English crowd and off my lips as I watched at home. Sure some would cry that Neville has lost twice on Raw. But I say to you, look at his opponents. The first and most important, Seth Rollins. Neville was destined to lose against the future of the WWE but he gave an amazing fight. And Second against Dolph Ziggler. He is a former World Champion himself, so sure it makes sense that Neville would not pick up the win. But he came close to it. And looky people, technically this was the main event. 3 Weeks into his debut and he’s already main eventing. So it’s all good homies. calm down.

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Seth Rollins & Randy Orton Reveal Their Stipulations

 Our beloved WWE World Heavy Weight Champion and the undisputed future of the WWE came down to the ring and reclined in style after  a hard fought victory over Kane earlier in the evening (don’t hate, that’s my story and I’m sticking to it.) He called Randy to the ring, for now was the time to announce their chosen stipulations. Seth revealed that he would be taking away Randy’s greatest weapon, the RKO. It was banned from their match at Extreme Rules. Randy in turn, took away Rollins’ back up by making their match at Extreme Rules a Steel Cage Match.

But the Viper was not finished. he wanted to begin the fight early and flipped Seth and his leather recliner over before turning his attention to J & J Security. Luckily, our champion retreated before any more damage could be done to his valuable person, but he had to witness his security team receive RKOs in his stead.

Definitely like the stipulations. Definitely going to be a fun match at Extreme Rules. The RKO being banned stipulation was aa stroke of genius since you can win that match by pinning your opponent or climbing out of the cage. This match itself favors Seth who is a mater at high risk. A cage is nothing to him, He survived Hell In a Cell against a Lunatic. Being in a cage with a Viper will be a cake walk for Rollins. No worries, he got this and he will retain his title because he IS the best WWE Champion ever!

 

~Your

Angelic Heel

By Bryan Kluger

Former husky model, real-life Comic Book Guy, genre-bending screenwriter, nude filmmaker, hairy podcaster, pro-wrestling idiot-savant, who has a penchant for solving Rubik's Cubes and rolling candy cigarettes on unreleased bootlegs of Frank Zappa records.

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