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Angelic Heel returning once more…

 

WWE‘s flagship program came to us from Newark, NJ and delivered an exciting evening filled with the hard hitting action we come to expect from RAW. The big question of the night was, would Jon Stewart of the Daily Show accept Mr. Money in the Bank, Seth Rollins, challenge and show up? The WWE Universe got the answer and so much more as challenges were made, former champions were put in their place and supermen flew. What happened as we continue on the road to the Grandest Stage of Them All? Find Out now!!

 

 

 

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Seth Rollins Speaks, Roman Interrupts

The night began as the future of the WWE blessed the WWE Universe with his presence. Seth Rollins came down to the ring, flanked by J & J Security, to address a variety of topics. One, Jon Stewart was on his way to the area. The Daily Show host and the Savior of the WWE have been in a battle of words the past few weeks and Seth had graciously extended an invitation to come to RAW that Stewart accepted. Seth warned that unless the comedian was on his way to beg forgiveness for the unwarranted insults against Rollins, then he should just turn around.

For the second topic, Seth reminded us all that he is the undisputed future of the WWE. The he is Mr. Money in the Bank and the hand picked shining jewel of the Authority (Shine on you crazy diamond!) That people pay their money to come see him (yes yes I do). At this point, Roman Reigns decided that he would but in where he was not wanted, and interrupted Seth. The powerhouse came down to the ring and insulted Rollins for no reason. But Seth, ever the observant one, informed Roman that he did not have what it took to beat Brock Lesnar. The two continued to trade verbal barbs, Rollins’ rang so true that Reigns resorted to violence and punched the future world heavy weight champion and then took out Joey and Jamie. Reigns stared down Rollins as he regrouped to the locker room.

 

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Dean Ambrose vs Bad News Barrett

Winner: Dean Ambrose via pinfall

 Intercontinental Champion, Bad News Barrett went one on one with Dean Ambrose in a non title match. It was what you would expect from the two, Dean Ambrose more or less dominating in his lunatic way. The flurry of chops at one point, a flying elbow off the apron another high light. It also helped the unstable one’s cause that BnB was distracted. His title belt has been out of his possession since Fastlane when Ambrose walked off with it. At one point, after having taken a brief control of the match, Wade had his hands on the title.

But after Dean recovered and continued his beating on the champion, R-Truth (who had been sitting ringside doing commentary) crept over and stole the title… again. But his theft of the belt would be short lived. Luke Harper appeared out of no where and silently demanded the title. As he walked away nonchalantly with the belt, Bad News Barrett looked on helplessly. Dean used this distraction to preform Dirty Deeds to pick up another non-title win over Barrett.

I’m really enjoying this hot potato game with the IC title. It makes the title feel sought after and desired. This is the first time in a long while that there are multiple valid contenders for the title. And their continued theft of the title kinda reminds me of when the Hardcore title was defended 24/7. Of course it is all leading up to the ladder match at Wrestlemania. So far from what I can tell, with the players involved so far, that ladder amtch is going to steal the show!

 

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Bray Wyatt Addresses the Undertaker

 For weeks now Bray Wyatt has been sending cryptic messages to an unknown person. Begging this individual to come find him. At Fastlane we learned that all these vague messages were for the Undertaker. Monday night, the Eater of Worlds had yet another message for the Deadman. Wyatt was not alone. A beautiful wooden casket was also center stage. Bray explained that he had built it for the Undertaker but everything in his world came with a price. Wyatt said he was like fire, as he began to pour gas on the coffin, he had the urge to destroy all. The new face of fear set the coffin ablaze and again told the Phenom to find him.

Loving this feud with Bray and the Undertaker. Wyatt is doing a great job of holding this on his own, as no we the WWE Universe has not seen nor heard from Taker since Brock destroyed him last Wrestlemania.Wyatt has valid points, have the hands of time turned the Undertaker into a mere mortal or is he still the supernatural force that haunted the WWE for over 2 decades?

 

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Tyson Kidd & Cesaro & Natalya vs The Usos and Naomi

Winner: The Usos & Naomi via pinfall

 Six person tag action! Oh Joy! Okay That’s not fair as this match was actually kinda enjoyable. The feud between these two teams and the teams’ wives is actually keeping my interest. The match was mostly fast paced that gave the women the bulk of the short time they had. And Natalya and Naomi tore it up each time they were in the ring. However, the rigors of competing tweaked Nattie’s injured leg and she tagged herself out. The action continued and the Usos built momentum and were about to double super kick Kidd, but he tagged in his injured wife. That put the brakes on Jimmy and Jey as Naomi now had to take over. As Natalya yelled at Tyson for tagging her in, knowing full well that she was not 100%, Naomi took advantage of the distraction and rolled Nattie up to pick up the win.

It was a fast and enjoyable match with both sides getting in some decent offense. The women were the real jewel of the match. It’s about time honestly. Course this 6 person tag win just sets us up for more 6 person bouts. (They haven’t been as much fun for me since the Shield broke up, just sayin.) I do want to give kudos to Cesaro and Tyson Kidd. I am so happy to see the belts on them. They are two of the most talented guys and it is awesome to see them in the spot light and working amazing as a team.

 

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John Cena vs Curtis Axel

Winner: John Cena via submission

 I knew it was too good to be true, it was a matter of time before John Cena would continue to be the bane of my existence and come out to speak to the WWE Universe. The people in Newark sang a beautiful version of his song as he made his way down to the ring. Since falling asleep at Fastlane, apparently there were some who wondered what the future held in store for Cena (I was hoping for retirement in shame but we don’t get what we want in life at times) No the leader of the Cenation came down and addressed the fact that Rusev refused to give him a rematch (why should he?) and that he was now going to enter himself in the Andre the Giant memorial battle royal.

But seeing as that is NOT best for business, Stephanie McMahon came out to shed some insight to the 15 time loser. She was not going to allow him to enter the battle royal. The very fact that he thought he could enter it was a belittlement to a man who was her friend as a child and she would not let Cena disgrace the memory of the legend for which the battle royal was named. And that the only way Cena would be in a match at Wrestlemania, would be if he could convince Rusev to give him another title shot.

Curtis Axel then came out again spouting his nonsense of being in the Royal Rumble and never having been eliminated. Again I’m pretty sure you have to make it into the ring in order to officially have begun the match. Stephanie made a match between John and the Axe man and left. before the match began Cena gave Axel a chance to leave, stating that he would not walk away from the ring if he stayed (well that’s not very nice… What did Curtis ever do to you John?) Axel stayed and got destroyed by John Cena. One brutal beating and an AA later and Curtis Axel was laying limp on the mat. Rusev then came out and basically told John Cena that his answer was still No to a rematch (good on you Rusev, do not reward losers or bullies!)

Stephanie had a huge point. There were all these top stars who thought that when they left the WWE would falter and sink. They all left and the WWE thrived. John Cena is no different. To quote the visionary that is Stephanie, it’s not where would the WWE be with out John Cena, but where would John Cena be without the WWE. Very very valid question. My answer, he’d be begging for the spot light somewhere else, because he has an ugly ugly addiction to being center stage.

 

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Triple H Makes a Point

 How great is this? First Stephanie, now Triple H! I do so love to here from the Cerebral Assassin. The defender of the WWE, here to protect us from the evil that is Sting! He came down to the ring and gave us a heart felt speech on how 20 years ago, he asked Vince for an opportunity and he had made the most of it. And that at Fastlane, he had given Sting an opportunity that he squandered for his selfish desire to make a Wrestlemania moment. He also mentioned the multiple theories people were throwing around on why Sting hadn’t showed up in the WWE till now. The Game then invited Booker T into the ring. Earlier in the evening, the 5 time WCW champion had stated he thought that it was Triple H who had blocked Sting from entering the WWE, he again stated it and said that he didn’t blame Hunter for trying to control Sting, but Sting was in the WWE now, and that Sting could not be controlled.

Triple H did not take to kindly to the lack of faith in his skills and he made an example of Booker T. No nay sayers would be tolerated in the regime and oh by the way, Booker T, you’re fired. As a shocked Booker made his way back to the back, Hunter called him back stating that he was just messin with him but that he helped him make his point. That he was in control and had the power.  And at Wrestlemania, he would prove that to the world.

 

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Paige vs Nikki Bella

Divas Championship Match

Winner: Paige via disqualification

 Handing it to the lades tonight. They were on point. This match was dominated by Paige. Sure the Diva’s champ got in a little offense but the Anti-Diva had Nikki’s number and would have won the match via submission if Brie hadn’t gotten involved in the match. This prompted a double team on the youngest ever Diva’s Champion. But who would come out to save her? Why the returning of AJ LEE! Lee hit the ring and cleared it in a dominating fashion. The enemy of my enemy is my friend and it looks like Paige and AJ are besties again!

Hell yeah, the queen returns to claim her rightful position on top. Too long have the Bellas been on top. The team of AJ and Paige will put the Bella brats back in their place. I am so excited to see this. Hell i even want to see a women’s tag match. Holy crap I think I’m excited about main roster diva’s wrestling >.> this is new…

 

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The Daily Show with Seth Rollins

 Finally the part of the evening everyone was waiting for. The moment when Seth Rollins would prove to the world that he could run the Daily Show better than Jon Stewart. The shining glorious jewel of the Authority nailed it, throwing pencils better than Stewart and telling better jokes. Oh it was good times. Then Jon Stewart did in fact come out to confront Mr. Money in the Bank. Stewart began to insult the Savior of the WWE and said that Rollins had not earned anything that he had. The Daily Show host even tried to stir the pot by stating that the Authority didn’t really care about Rollins, that he would be dropped as soon as they were tired of him. And to make his point, Stewart asked Rollins, why wasn’t he fighting for the title at Wrestlmania?

Seth, fed up with having his integrity questioned, got in Jon’s face and it looked as if finally this up start comedian would be put in his place. But Randy Orton’s music played and out came the Viper. After the actions of last week, Seth and J & J Security were distracted, unsure of how things would progress. The distraction allowed Jon Stewart to low blow Rollins, allowing his escape from justice.

This was a fun segment. Of course I find myself cursing a certain snake. Randy would play it off as him saving Seth from making career suicide but one has to think, if you voluntarily step into a wrestling ring, especially a WWE ring, then you should expect that at some point, you’re gonna get hit. I thought it was just logic. I think there is more to Randy than he is letting on. Can’t trust that damn snake as far as I can throw him.

 

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Luke Harper vs Daniel Bryan

Winner: Daniel Bryan via submission

 Oh the joys of this match! Luke Harper came to the ring still carrying the pilfered IC title. (giggle) Harper came on strong and focused mainly on Daniel Bryan’s head and neck. But the WWE’s resident farm animal battled back and ended up winning the back and forth match when he was able to lock in the Yes Lock and force the submission.

However, the insanity surrounding the Intercontinental Title continued as Goat boy celebrated his victory over the swamp rat. BNB came out and got his title back only to have the craziness continue with R-Truth, Dean Ambrose, continuing their violent game of keep away. Harper ended up with the title and made his way up the ramp only to catch a super kick from The Show Off, Dolph Ziggler. The Zig -Man then continued the game of keep away as he joined in on the game and walked away with poor Bad News Barrett’s title belt.

I LOVE how this is being handled. It makes the Intercontinental title a huge part of the show. For too long it felt like it was lost in the shuffle. I remember when the IC title was something that was a step up to the big leagues so to speak. The past year or so, it has kinda sat on a back burner. With so many contenders, the Intercontinental Championship now feels like it did back in the day. something worth fighting for. And while Wade can’t seem to keep up with his belongings, it is a bit of fun to see so many superstars get in on the thieving action started by Dean Ambrose. Can’t wait for the Ladder Match at Wrestlemania. Think it would be too much to ask WWE to make THIS match the main event??

 

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Paul Heyman Does what He Does Best

 Oh sweet! It’s Paul Heyman, the one behind the one in 21-1! And he showed up to educate the masses on what is in store for roman Reigns when he meets the WWE World Heavy Weight Champion, Brock Lesnar, at Wrestlemania. He informed the WWE Universe, that Brock Lesnar will do as he pleases, will be where he pleases, when he pleases, and that Lesnar WILL be at Wrestlemania and WILL destroy Roman Reigns. Whether it be a beating as brutal and sadistic as the one John Cena received, or whether Brock simply “Ronda Rouseys” his ass. The result, he promises, will be the same. Brock Lesnar will walk out of Wrestlemania as the champion and will hold on to the title until he doesn’t want it any more.

Of course, just as things were really getting good (I could listen to Paul Heyman talk for hours, the man is inspirational!) Roman Reigns’ music hits and the Big Dog makes his way to the ring. And of course, being that he is just an advocate (and a damn good one) Paul retreats from the ring because Roman isn’t exactly known for his anger management skills.

I love love love Paul Heyman on the microphone. The man is brilliant. And the passion and conviction that he has when he speaks is awe inspiring. How can one NOT drink the Paul Heyman koolaid?? That’s right, I’m a Paul Heyman girl 100% and when ever he picks up the mic, I shut up and listen. The man speaks truth. I’m okay with Brock doing as he pleases, he’s earned the right to be a mercenary and I feel sorry for what Roman will endure at Wrestlemania. He’s never faced the Beast Incarnate. I definitely want to see this match, I have faith that Roman will give it his all, but I’m with Paul on this, it’s going to be ugly and uncomfortable to watch, but the pissed off Samoan with a chip on his shoulder is gonna be conquered.

 

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Roman Reigns vs Seth Rollins

Winner: Seth Rollins via pinfall

 Roman Reigns has learned to channel his nay sayers words into pure destruction. Rollins and Reigns traded blows but it quickly became one sided as the powerhouse pounded the savoir of the WWE with a flurry of clothes lines. Roman would continue to take it to Seth with a hard hitting offense only losing ground when ever members of the Authority would interfere. Each one earning the wrath of the pissed off Samoan with a chip on his shoulder. The crowning jewel of the Authority would capitalize on these distractions, but Reigns battled through with  moves such as lifting Rollins from the mat into a huge powerbomb to regain the upper hand.  As Roman lined Seth up for a spear, Randy Orton grabbed Reigns foot distracting him long enough for Seth to recover and roll him up for the victory.

As Rollins and his fellow Authority brethren celebrated the hard fought victory, the Big Dog looked on and as it set in what had transpired, I kept screaming at the TV for Seth to run away from the ring. I could see what was about to happen. Well not exactly, no one could have expected to see Roman Reigns FLY over the top rope and leap on to Seth Rollins and the other Authority members. Upon rising to his feet he then hulked out and destroyed every member of the Authority (except Randy who had continued on into the back.) The hardest hit of the night being when Reigns speared Rollins out of the air. He was the very definition of destruction as he decimated the combined forces of the Authority.

As much as I hated to see Seth get destroyed in the end, I am tickled pink to see Roman doing so well. I told you Roman haters there was more to his move set than yall gave him credit for!! He flew over that top rope and had a good match against Seth. I know I know, you’re confused. Wasn’t I just saying Roman couldn’t beat Brock? I sure was and he can’t, Lesnar is a Beast. But Roman can explode and destroy all, He is lucky that Seth was still suffering the ill effects of Jon Stewart’s cowardly low blow, otherwise it would have been a different story. But Seth wasn’t at hs best and Reigns took advantage of the situation. He still lost, but he stood tall in the end.

 

 

 

 

~Your

Angelic Heel

By Bryan Kluger

Former husky model, real-life Comic Book Guy, genre-bending screenwriter, nude filmmaker, hairy podcaster, pro-wrestling idiot-savant, who has a penchant for solving Rubik's Cubes and rolling candy cigarettes on unreleased bootlegs of Frank Zappa records.

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