Hi, Bryan Here…


Well’ I’ve already put out my Best List of the Year, now it’s time for the  Worst List of the year 2013. There were some amazing films to come out this year, but then again, there were some truly awful movies to be released as well. And here is that list of movies you should avoid at all costs. Be sure to check my Best List though too. Enjoy and have some laughs.


15) GANGSTER SQUAD (This film could have been a lot of fun, instead they tried to make a serious ‘Dick Tracy’ movie and it failed.)

14) THE LONE RANGER (What a mess from top to bottom. Completely missed the mark on casting here with a two hour span of time where nothing cool  happened. At least the last 10 minutes was fun.)

13) RUNNER RUNNER (Literally nothing happened in this movie besides a scene where an alligator scared someone. Dumb.)

12) IDENTITY THIEF (The characters in this movie made me want to see them all die in a slow and agonizing death. Unfunny and a waste of time.)

11) OZ THE GREAT AND POWERFUL (Sam Raimi failed at making movies yet again with this horrible mess of a film. This whole film needed a new cast, a better plot, and better execution. At least Bruce Campbell is in it.)

10) THE HANGOVER III (The third Hangover movie doesn’t even feature a Hangover. Instead there are a lot of animal deaths and unfunny murders. Weird.)

9) ONLY GOD FORGIVES (90 minutes of Ryan Gosling staring into the camera – literally.)

8) THE SMURFS 2 (It’s as if they didn’t try with this sequel at all. Unfunny, boring, and stupid.)

7)PAIN AND GAIN (Fuck Michael Bay in his stupid well-coiffed big head. This is a truly an awful film about how Michael Bay got his start in movies. Terrible. At least The Rock was awesome in this. )

6) GETAWAY (Selena Gomez might be the worst actress ever. This could have been a cool movie, but everything about was poorly executed to the point where I wanted to gouge out my eyes and cut off my ears. This movie made no sense.)

5) GROWN UPS 2 (The first one was awful, and if you can believe it, the second one is even worse. These guys don’t even try anymore and it’s pathetic.)

4) ONE DIRECTION: THIS IS US (Morgan Spurlock is a great filmmaker, but he had no say whatsoever, and the horrible band One Direction just pulled pranks one one another for almost two hours. Simply awful music and movie.)

3) CHASING SHAKESPEARE (The amount of cheese in this movie is on a level that you can’t begin to imagine. Boring, terrible filmmaking, and Danny Glover should be ashamed to put his name on this. This movie is so bad, Amazon won’t even sell it.)

2) AN AMERICAN GIRL: SAIGE PAINTS THE SKY (I almost drank a full gallon of detergent to take myself out of my own misery from watching this piece of garbage. Bratty kids suck and should be put in prison.)

1) THE GRANDMASTER (Ip Man is awesome, which this is supposedly based on, but the entire movie is in slow motion with some of the worst fight scenes ever put on screen. This movie should never be seen and sealed, burned, and thrown to the bottom of the ocean. The most bored and disappointed I’ve been at the theater this year.)



By Bryan Kluger

Former husky model, real-life Comic Book Guy, genre-bending screenwriter, nude filmmaker, hairy podcaster, pro-wrestling idiot-savant, who has a penchant for solving Rubik's Cubes and rolling candy cigarettes on unreleased bootlegs of Frank Zappa records.

One thought on “Bryan’s Worst 15 Films of the Year 2013!!”
  1. Fantastic post. Wholeheartedly agree, and thankful I’ve only seen half. Oh why God have I seen half of these?

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