Hi Bryan Here…..

It might be to hype up the 3D release of one of the worst films ever made, or may be the anger of an old man finally getting back at his fans.  But I’d like to think once upon a time, George Lucas liked making movies.  Sadly that hasn’t been the case in over 20 years.  Lucas recently said he was done with making big blockbuster movies.  He said, “Why would I make any more when everybody yells at you all the time and says what a terrible person you are?”  Now he has gone the way of the internet in trying to get a rise out of his most rabid of fans.

Lucas said this week,  “The controversy over who shot first, Greedo or Han Solo, in Episode IV, what I did was try to clean up the confusion, but obviously it upset people because they wanted Solo to be a cold-blooded killer, but he actually isn’t. … Greedo is the one who shot first.”


When Lucas says  “Why would I make any more when everybody yells at you all the time and says what a terrible person you are?”, he has to know the reasons.  Deep down he has to know that he is terrible and hates his loyal fans.  Terrible to his extremely rabid loyal fans who buy anything and everything comes out that has the Star Wars logo on it.


And the whole Greedo shooting first comment is entirely bullshit.  Don’t you think by now, over 30 years later, he would have said something.  And that every single Star Wars fan is wrong and confused, but he is right.  Doesn’t make sense.


And why does Lucas feel the need to change his beloved films every few years?  And not just change them, he makes them worth.  From Vader yelling “Noooooooooooo” in Jedi to the Ewoks blinking, to adding silly characters and a music video in Jaba’s palace, Lucas should be stripped of his duties on Star Wars and just be allowed to collect money.


Also, another reason he seems to not know why his fans hate him, is that he has never given a proper release of the original films.  His constant reply is that it is too expensive and would take tons of time.  Lucas, you alone personally, have over $2 billion dollars.  You own ILM, Skywalker Sound, and have money from Pixar.  We know you have the money from every penny you steal from our fans from putting out the most minor of characters from the Star Wars universe out in every form of merchandising.  Secondly, I know you have more than a willing team to go through the original films with a fine tooth comb and clean up the originals and unaltered versions to please your fans.


The fact that you have never done this, and most likely will never do this, and constantly avoid the topic will result in me not ever purchasing anything from you again.  Did I purchase the bluray Star Wars set?  No.  Did I go to the theatre and see the worst movie ever made in 3D? No.  Will I ever?  Most likely not.




Lucas is a boob.  And Star Trek is better.




By Bryan Kluger

Former husky model, real-life Comic Book Guy, genre-bending screenwriter, nude filmmaker, hairy podcaster, pro-wrestling idiot-savant, who has a penchant for solving Rubik's Cubes and rolling candy cigarettes on unreleased bootlegs of Frank Zappa records.

5 thoughts on “Reason # 1042 Why George Lucas Is A Boob!!!”
  1. Bryan: I’ve given a lot of thought today about your strong feelings about George Lucas as a director and as entrepenuer. On thhose roles, I will defer to your knowledge and expertise as a dedicated cinephile, commentator, critic and entrepenuer. I have a very cursory interest in the science fiction and fantasy genres, but it is a long-time interest. I saw the first Star Wars in 1977 when I was 26 years old. I feel somewhat obligated to defend him.

    Whatever other failings he might have, he dramatically changed the science fiction/fantasy genre with the first Star Wars and has added little production wrinkles to each subsequent Star Wars flick. Moreover, while he doesn’t handle dialogue very well, who can forget the vivid scenes he has produced such as the climactic death star canyon starfighter run, the Imperial walkers, the escape from Jabba the Hut in the desert, the scooters whizzing through the woods, the pod race, the Obi-Wan Kenobi’s duels with the General (what’s his name) and with Darth Maul & young Vader. I remember seeing the laser weapons and uniforms of the stormtroppers at the beginning of the original Star Wars and thinking … “Now, that’s different!”

    Before Star Wars, we had movies like the original “The Thing”, “Destination Moon” and original “The War of the Worlds”. Not bad movies for their day, but a far cry from what Star Wars brought to the table. Even the original TV series “Star Trek” – although it advanced science fiction movies a much needed distance, didn’t have things like aliens serving the Federation on the Enterprise. The Star Wars bar scene literally changed the way aliens were depicted on screen. An alien could now be a friend, ally, scoundrel and drinking-buddy.

    So, it is okay to beat up George for the things he has done wrong over the course of 35 years, but, let’s celebrate what he has brought to the table also. That is only fair.

  2. Shadowman, More so, this article was a response to his recent interview where he stated he was quitting the business because he was tired of people saying they hated his work and or him, as well as his notion of the whole Greedo vs Han Solo shoot out.

    As I mentioned in the article, he did start Pixar, ILM, and Lucas Sound. Great companies. Innovative companies. I think the entertainment business moved forward due to those companies.

    However, in regards to the Star Wars franchise, most of his fans want only one thing. The thing they have wanted since 1997. And that is the original unaltered versions of the Star Wars trilogy. Have we gotten those? Technically yes, but really no. By technically yes, I mean they were released in a tin box and were not converted to DVD standards at the time. Instead they were VHS copies put onto disc.

    While I would say Lucas is responsible for a great story, he failed miserably executing his vision with the exception of the first film mostly. Empire and Jedi were both made by A-List directors…not Lucas.

    And even, some of Lucas’ closest co workers and partners have said publicly, that it became not about filmmaking for Lucas, but rather making a character that he could sell as a toy. That was Lucas’ main agenda. And that was while Empire was being made.

    While I want to celebrate Star Wars, I can’t. It’s more of a joke now. And that’s sad.

  3. Thanks for the explanation as to the technical aspects of what George has done wrong. I can appreciate your frustration, dismay and down-right anger.

    As to his goal of creating and marketing Star Wars characters as toys, I understand that disappointment also.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *