Hey guys, Jana here,
Do you ever wonder who is giving you your entertainment news, reviews and anything else in between? Do you ever catch yourself thinking “I really wish I knew more about the amazing people at Boomstick Comics?” Vanity Fair gives readers the option to get to know their favorite celebs a little bit more by offering the famous Proust Questionnaire completed by someone really successful, talented and funny. Unfortunately, y’all get me “JANA” this time.
Now, since we at Boomstick Comics love to cover the entertainment world, focusing on film, television, pro-wrestling, music, and video games, we came up with our own questions that might be more fun for our readers. Of course the Proust questions are still here, they’re just towards the bottom of the page. We think this will be fun to have our writers give you a small glimpse into their entertaining and movie worlds. We hope you enjoy.
What was your first Rated ‘R’ film experience?
‘Revenge of the Nerds‘, we had rented the VHS right after it became available (if you hadn’t caught on yet, I’m OLD), I was sent to bed but went the back way around where I could see the TV from my mom’s room and I remember being so disturbed by the phrase “We’ve got bush!” My life has never been the same.
Who did you first fall in love with in the movies and why?
During the same year as the last question, Johnny Lawrence in ‘The Karate Kid‘. I was with my cousins at my grandparents and the part where he gets kicked in the onions by Mr. Miyagi and we replayed that 10 seconds at least a dozen times. It was the 80’s, I was easily amused.
What songs were beacons for you growing up?
The whole Metallica Black Album was my first intro to anything other than Christian music or New Kids on the Block. Ironically, I first heard the tape on a trip with the church youth group, one of the guys brought it and when we stopped for a break, I popped the tape in my walkman and the music-scene was altered forever for me. Also, The Bellamy Brothers’ Red Neck Girl was basically my personality in high school and right after. I dropped the dumb blonde routine and finally found myself after that. I did love driving my daddy’s pickup truck though and my own pickup sported the plate RDNKGRL.
What’s the Best death scene in a movie?
What TV Show made you cry the most? Which Episode?
‘MASH‘ the episode when Henry dies and the very finale. In all fairness, I was pregnant when I saw that final episode for the first time and the thought of killing your baby hit me like a ton of bricks, ‘The Sopranos‘ when Sil offs Adriana, ‘Supernatural‘ the ep when John is killed and is really dead, not just SPN dead, was just torture, ‘Sons of Anarchy‘ and towards the end of the run when Juice and Gemma are killed, then watching Jax ride off towards that semi. That one still tears me up.
What musical film describes your daily life?
‘The Blues Brothers‘, basically I mean well, but cause a giant cluster-fuck on my way.
What movie character do you want to be when you grow up?
Lorna Cole from the ‘Lethal Weapon‘ series with a dash of Alex Cross. I have always been fascinated with serial killers and either wanted to be a serial killer tracker or a transplant surgeon. Shit happened and I’m writing for Boomstick, dreams totally come true, kids.
In a post apocalyptic world of zombies and robots, what job will you have?
Protecting the babies, I’m all nurturing, and shit.
What three movies make you laugh the most?
‘Young Frankenstein‘, ‘Gravy‘, and ‘Christmas Vacation‘, I’m going to fit ‘Spaceballs‘ in here too. Fun Fact: One of the Gallup twins from ‘Spaceballs’ lived in the area where I do and she was a patient of the Dr. I worked for, I had to help her get naked for an exam. My life is just that rock’n roll.
What is your most thrilling music experience?
I’ve gotten to meet several artists I absolutely adore and can call one of them a friend, but as for the most thrilling I’m going to show my geek here and go back to high school where I played the piano for our honor choir but the writer of the piece, Dr. Leavitt,was directing us and I don’t think my heart has ever pounded that hard since. I was playing the composer’s work. In. Front. Of. Him.
List some filmmakers that have helped shape your creative life?
I’ve got to go with the expected here and say Spielberg, Lucas, Chris Columbus, they formed my childhood views on things and that’s carried through my whole life. However, Tarantino taught me it’s perfectly acceptable to make a giant fucking mess of things if you need to, Scorsese taught me that even if the ending is not what you expected, it can still be a good journey and Francis Ford Coppola taught me that it’s never a mistake to make sure you take the cannoli. #Priorities
What are some of your favorite scenes in movies?
The opening cheer in Torrance’s dream in ‘Bring It On‘, I proudly know every word and must cheer along to the finish if someone says anything remotely close to it. My oldest son, in particular, rolls his eyes every damn time someone says anything that gets me started on it.
Every single scene in ‘Ten Inch Hero‘.
The dance at the barn-raising in ‘Seven Brides For Seven Brothers’.
The first killing jaunt of Mike’s once he’s been activated in ‘American Ultra‘.
What movie do you think you could remake and it be amazing?
‘Waterworld‘, I would go back and prevent it from ever being made in the first place. 1000% better than the original on that premise alone. Other than that, I really like the movies that I enjoy for what they are, be they cheesy 70’s drivel, bad 80’s action or of the 90’s superhero genre. I need to think on this one longer to come up with a real answer.
Which movie would’ve have been better if it had Martin Short in it?
‘Braveheart‘, I think Marty would have made a killer William Wallace.
List three of your favorite movie lines.
“Jesus H. Tap Dancing Christ!” – Jake from the Blues Brothers
“Wayne, I think we’ve established that “Ca-Caw Ca-Caw” and “Tookie Tookie” don’t work.” – Harry Block from Evolution (Orlando Jones’ line is gloriously funny. I always use it in situations where I’m in the presence of a moron, so this is like in daily use.)
“Enhance your calm, John Spartan.” – Lenina Huxley from Demolition Man (I say this one to my kids on a daily basis, as well. Or anyone having a bit of a freak-out. I think I’m the only one who could not control my laughter when Walgreen’s began saying “Be Well” at the end of the check-out. I’m like dude, seriously, no one else watched ‘Demolition Man‘?)
What would be your pro-wrestling stage name and gimmick?
I would be the Puppy Whisperer, and I’d have a pack of puppies (My minions) that would distract the ref so I could do whatever I needed to get the upper hand. Flash my tits, smack someone with a chair, or have one of the dogs pee on them. It’d give Jerry “The King” Lawler a whole new meaning for yelling “Puppies!!!” It’s a lame character, but I play to my strengths. I have boobs and love dogs.
What’s the most interesting movie/album you own?
I’m going to have to go with a playlist I put together. It’s got a little bit of everything important you should know about music. This has been my bible for teaching my kids the basics in music education. It’s got plenty of solid classic rock hits from Zeppelin, Queen, Aerosmith, Clapton, The Beatles, John Coltrane, Robert Johnson, John Lee Hooker, Stevie Wonder, Buddy Guy, Cab Calloway, Allman Brothers Band, Michael Jackson, one of my favorite Beethoven piano sonatas Opus 13: piano sonata no.8 in C minor Pathétique, I tossed in a handful of musical numbers, heavy on the Rocky Horror, some Gershwin and called it a day. I rock a mean road-trip playlist, too.
What’s the oddest movie you’ve ever seen and why?
‘THE GAY BED AND BREAKFAST OF TERROR‘! (It’s one of the greatest bad movies of all-time. I stumbled across it somewhere and knew I just had to watch it. Who could really turn away from this though?!)
‘CRIPPLED AVENGERS‘! (This was another one of those I just had to watch once I found it on Netflix, one day. It was terrible, but hilarious and one of the most amusing films I’d seen, it was wonderful. Highly recommended!)
Which movie characters should be married and live happily ever after?
Beetlejuice and Jack Nicholson’s Joker, because I would love to see Beetlejuice try to keep his smart-ass in check before the Joker killed him. I’d totally watch that marriage on reality TV any day of the week.
What remarkable things have you found in unexpected movies?
I remember watching ‘Die Hard‘ in high school on USA, when John McClane says his famous line “Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker.” The censors in their genius changed motherfucker to “Mister Falcon”, it was the most ridiculous change I’d ever seen and I’ll never forget it. I also quote it quite frequently. I know this clip shows TBS, but it was USA when I saw it.
I did not expect ‘Kiss Kiss Bang Bang‘ to be as fall-down hilarious as it was. It was perfect with it’s dry delivery, heavy sarcasm, plus it was not only a Shane Black movie but Robert Downey, Jr’s first return to film after rehab, and all made possible by Mel Gibson, which brings us full circle back to ‘Lethal Weapon’, as most things in my life do.
What 3 movies still make you sleep with the lights on?
‘The Babadook‘ and ‘The Wizard of Oz‘ is a childhood thing, never got over the Wicked Witch. I’ve seriously had to watch the ‘Mr. Rogers Neighborhood‘ episode that had the actress on it and watch as she put her costume on to help combat the fear. The really sad part, this was in the last year. I love horror movies of all shapes and sizes, but this one smooth freaks me out.
NOW TIME FOR THE OFFICIAL PROUST QUESTIONS
What is your idea of perfect happiness?
Having the bills paid, a clean house, and laughing. I don’t care at what, I just love to laugh.
What is your greatest fear?
I was always scared that my thoughts would be like broadcast from the back of my head so anyone behind me could see what I was thinking. This was especially terrifying when I was in church and making mental notes of all the penises I’d seen that were in the room.
What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
I can be lazy and unmotivated. It’s the most frustrating thing in the world to have hundreds of ideas and the drive to complete like 3 of them. I also wish I was more confident.
What is the trait you most deplore in others?
Ugh, truly awful people, the ones that you just wish you could drive over because they shouldn’t procreate, shouldn’t speak, and should apologize to the trees that are making their oxygen.
Which living person do you most admire?
My grade school music teacher, she is grace personified. I’m more the trip over my shoelace, face-plant and lose a tooth while taking out a wedding cake kind of gal.
What is your greatest extravagance?
When I can get my hair colored, I always go loud and it always cost a ton of money but the results are SO worth it. Well, that, and buying craft supplies and fabric every week.
What is your current state of mind?
Happy. It’s my favorite season, my house smells like pumpkins, I’m in snuggly long-sleeves and the house is quiet.
What do you consider the most overrated virtue?
Being politically correct. You’re going to offend someone no matter what you say or how you try to word it. Might as well be as honest as you can.
On what occasion do you lie?
When asked about my age. I claimed to be 29 for at least 12 years and it got so bad that when a Dr. would ask me how old I was I seriously couldn’t remember, then I’d have to figure it out while the doc is thinking I might have a brain issue.
What do you most dislike about your appearance?
I wish there wasn’t quite as much of me and a normal functioning right leg would be a total plus.
Which living person do you most despise?
Anyone that fosters division and hatred.
What is the quality you most like in a man?
If he’s kind to others, especially wait staff, and the ability to make me laugh.
What is the quality you most like in a woman?
If she’s kind to others, especially wait staff, and the ability to make me laugh. Plus…boobs.
Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
Sons of Gondor, Holy rusted metal Batman, and fuck.
What or who is the greatest love of your life?
My kiddos take the top spot there, right behind Wil Wheaton, oh who am I kidding? Wheaton is at the top.
When and where were you happiest?
With my kids right after they were born, then they learned to talk and never wash their hands, I’m over it now.
Which talent would you most like to have?
I want to play the guitar so freaking hard! I’ve tried, I have the guitar, I’ve learned chords, I just can’t play by ear, same way with piano, I can give you Beethoven, Bach or Mozart a dozen ways, but me on my own – nada.
If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
I would think higher of myself, and I’d eat less pizza. Also, I’d be able to have something salty without having to have something sweet after it. One snack always means two, and I wouldn’t have to have chocolate after I eat eggs. I have strange food issues.
What do you consider your greatest achievement?
I’m growing three pretty decent kids. Long after I’m dead they will know you can’t have a combination of artificial heat and country music in the car at the same time. I also have phenomenal musical taste, this took a lifetime to curate. Recognize!
If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what would it be?
A piece of wood. That piece would eventually be placed on a Broadway stage, because that’s the only way I’m going to make it to Broadway, plus I’d get to see up tons of dresses.
Where would you most like to live?
Maine, New England area for sure. For the sole purpose of fall and winter, then a tropical island for the summer.
What is your most treasured possession?
Right now, I guess my iPad. It has all my family pictures on it and tons of books, ensuring I’m never without something to read. My Plex library is great too though.
What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?
Being dependent on another person for your happiness.
What is your favorite occupation?
When I was in high school I worked at a video rental store, that was the greatest job ever. Working in surgery was kind of cool too, but definitely video store takes the top slot.
What is your most marked characteristic?
What do you most value in your friends?
That it doesn’t take effort to be with them, and we make each other laugh.
Who are your favorite writers?
Who is your hero of fiction?
There are so many to pick from it’s like asking which child is your favorite. That one’s easy though, my kids fall into two categories. Corinthian, and NOT Corinthian. Hero I’m going to have to pick Wonder Woman, The Joker and Fluttershy Pony.
Which historical figure do you most identify with?
Maybe Eleanor Roosevelt, I’m a big believer in equality among the genders. I mean equal across the board. Not lowering standards so women can squeak by, if a woman wants the same jobs men hold, they need to have the same performance levels, I’m mainly thinking military here, but women deserve the chance to try.
Who are your heroes in real life?
My mom is pretty amazing when I look at all she’s done for me and that she’s basically been alone most of my life is pretty phenomenal. Of course, I have to include the creator of the Chalupa, too. All hail the Chalupa Jesus!
What are your favorite names?
My nieces call me NeeNee, and I love the names my kids have. Corinthian, Quinn, and Baylian Kal-El. Yeah, I’m the Superman freak.
What is it that you most dislike?
Horrible people that hurt children or animals. Entitled people that don’t believe in hard work to get what you want, and my dog’s visible bean bag when he sleeps on his back.
What is your greatest regret?
That I didn’t get as much out of my education as I could have because I was given the chance at the wrong time of life. I didn’t know crap about what I wanted to do in college and it shows.
How would you like to die?
In my sleep while my kids are all still alive, and/or after breaking a record for eating a “crap-load” of something.
What is your motto?
Woo-hoo and shit.