romanhhh

 

Angelic Heel again…

SMACKDOWN came out of Hartford, CT LIVE after an unprecedented blizzard forced WWE to cancel the RAW live event on Monday, and broadcast the weekly show from WWE headquarters. This week would see the end of a bitter rivalry and the rumblings of future battles on the horizon. Who was left in the cold and who received a warm reception? Find out NOW!

 

 

COO Triple H Addresses Controversy

 The COO of the WWE, Triple H, honored the WWE Universe with his presence. As one half of the Authority, he kicked off the show to address what transpired this week. He told everyone that unlike another well known sports organization, he deals with his problems. Hunter said one of his problems was Sting (*shakes a fist at the damned Scorpion*), and that at FASTLANE, the new February pay per view, he would confront the Vigilante. Our respected boss then went on to proclaim a HUGE mile stone for the WWE Network. It had finally reached one million subscribers!! And to each of us, he had two words for us : Thank You! (You’re Most Welcome Hunter!!) Speaking of the WWE Network, for the month of February, it would be free for new subscribers and yes that did include Fastlane!

Triple H then began to address the Royal Rumble. He gave the highest praise to the Triple Threat match for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship. He told us that Seth Rollins proved he was indeed the future of the company (something I already knew), that John Cena proved he was the past (again something I already knew), and that Brock Lesnar proved that he was the BEAST! But the elephant in the room was the Royal Rumble match itself. The ending of it, which was steeped in controversy that bled into mainstream media outlets, drew the ire of the majority of the WWE Universe. Hunter went on to state that he would make an announcement on RAW that would put an end to the controversy.

This would bring out Roman Reigns to interrupt the COO of the company. the Powerhouse stated that there was not controversy, that he had won the match and that he was going to Wrestlemania.  Hunter nodded and agreed, Roman Reigns had indeed, won the match, but now we would see if he could win his match that was going to take place right then and there. Out comes the Big Show (oh for f*cks sake… seriously??)

 

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Roman Reigns vs Big Show

Winner: Roman Reigns via pinfall

 The Big Show used everything he had to out power the Powerhouse. He tossed Roman around as if he were a child and absorbed most of what the Samoan superman threw at him. Roman would create a bit of separation by knocking the giant over the top rope, but it was not enough, nor did it do much damage as not long after both men were back in thee ring with Show having everything well in hand as he began to mercilessly work on Roman’s leg. Not to be finished off so easily, Reigns countered with a head scissors take down (yep that’s my boy! always improving) that would again send the Big Slow over the top rope once more.  With the momentum shifted to his favor, Roman Reigns, virtually on one leg began to lay into the world’s largest athlete as he delivered a Samoan drop and eventually his devastating spear to pick up the win over the big man.

I’m mixed about this match. Roman did great, Big Show not so much. I loved watching Roman try new things and work to prove to everyone that he does deserve the push he’s getting. Big Show on the other hand… how many times and how loudly can I yell, and how many friggin goats do i have to sacrifice to the Wrestling Gods to get this plodding has been away from Roman? If Reigns had been in the ring with any one else it would have been a stellar match. But the chemistry with Show just isn’t there. As cool as the head scissors was, Big Show ruined the look and flow of that move. I’m sick and tired of watching him weigh down the star that is Roman Reigns. Next rivalry please.

 

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Seth Rollins Open Challenge

 Seth Rollins, the savior and undisputed future of the WWE graced us mere mortals with his glowing presence. He was in an amazing mood as he proved to the WWE Universe and all in the back that he was a major player and deserved all the adulation bestowed upon him. And tonight, Seth stated that even though he didn’t walk out of Philly with the championship, that he still had the future in his reach. Mr. Money in the Bank was also feeling very generous as he announced that he was giving out an open challenge to ANYONE in the building, who had the guts or thought they were even HALF the man that Seth is, to come out and test him.

Who took on the challenge? Ryback. He mistakenly thought he had what it took and went down to the ring, where the future champion waited for him. However, J & J Security deemed the Big Guy unworthy and pounced on him before he could even touch Rollins. But Seth, not one to have his guys do all the work, also began to punish Ryback for his audacity. This would bring out Erick Rowan, who also met the same fate as Ryback. But Dolph Ziggler, decided he needed to throw in with his misguided buddies and rushed the ring and began to assault the Architect.  Seth was able to easily dispatch the Show Off but ran right into Ryback who got the drop on him and picked Rollins off to deliver Shellshock. But Jamie and Joey came to Seth’s aid and pulled him from the Big Guy’s shoulders, and allowed Seth to fall back at a high rate of speed. Unlucky for Noble and Mercury, they were caught by Rowan and almost received an unfounded beating, but Rollins,, saw that his men were in danger and swept in with a knee to the back and knocked Big Red into the ring, which freed up J & J Security. They retreated to the locker room as Ryback, Erick Rowan, and Dolph Ziggler remained in the ring.

Another segment in which Seth demonstrated his superiority in all things. He issues a challenge and gets three superstars. And put together, they were not enough to take Rollins out. He was able to put all three down before they ganged up on him and forced him to retreat to the back. Seth even showed how he took care of his men. When Jamie Noble and Joey Mercury were in danger, he did not stand idly by and let them get pummeled. No, he ran down and saved them from the vicious inexcusable thrashing there were about to get by the three men who try and tell you they are the “good guys.”  Erick Rowan, Ryback, and Dolph Ziggler should all realize that ganging up three on one against Seth will never end the way they imagined. He is called the Architect for a reason. He will always be one step ahead of them in all things. It’s truly sad that they think they are even in his league. But I suppose, dreamers need to continue dreaming or they will have nothing in life but their failures as men.

 

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Jey Uso vs Tyson Kidd

Winner: Tyson Kidd via pinfall

 In a match that was hard hitting from the on set, Tyson Kidd relentlessly punished one half of the tag team champions. Kidd focused his attacks on Jey Uso’s knee, as he looked to keep the high flier grounded. When Jey began to mount some offense, a distraction from Cesaro on the out side allowed Nattie’s husband to reclaim control of the match and deliver a swinging neck breaker that would allow him to pick up the singles win against Jey Uso.

Tyson Kidd, is in my opinion, one of the most underrated wrestlers on the main roster. This match was technically sound and a lot of fun to watch. It was refreshing to see an Uso face off against someone who wasn’t the Miz or a Dust Brother. And with this win, it could set up Cesaro and Tyson for a tag team title match in the near future.

 

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Rusev & John Cena Have Words

 After the Royal Rumble, Rusev and John Cena had to be separated due to them getting into a heated confrontation. It was later announced on Raw that Cena and Rusev would face each other at Fastlane. Of course, Rusev was not pleased with this (and who can blame the Russian hero? I’d be pissed too.) The Bulgarian brute and the ravishing Russian, Lana, came down to the ring and aired their grievances before the WWE Universe. Rusev was upset about how things played out in the Royal Rumble match and that he was now forced to fight a man who has no titles, is a loser, and a thing of the past (very accurate description of Cena.) But unfortunately, like Bloody Mary, if you say his name too much, John Cena appears to ruin your day. And apparently, the United States Champion said Cena one too many times because out popped the face that thinks it runs the place.

The PAST champion came down to the ring to confront his Fastlane opponent and to stroke his own ego as he listed off all his FORMER glories (what have you accomplished lately John? That’s right… NOTHING… loser <.<) For someone who is all about anti bullying he sure did throw more than a few insults at both Rusev and Lana (who had been standing there minding her own business.) Cena then challenged the hero of the Russian federation to fight right then and there, but Lana halted Rusev and as she made a very astute observation, John Cena was not worth it. And her and Rusev left the ring and retreated to the back.

I would love nothing more than to see Rusev beat John Cena all over the square circle. He has the skills and capabilities to make Cena cry, and who wouldn’t want to see that? John Cena on the other hand just comes off as picking on the new guys. What? He’s so butt hurt for not getting the job done over Brock Lesnar that he has to go pick on a champion he might have a better chance against? While Rusev is no Lesnar, he should not be taken lightly. He has never been pinned or submitted. Sure he’s had a few challenges come his way, but he has taken each and everyone of them down. John Cena will be no different. I actually look forward to Rusev standing tall over the battered and crushed body of John Cena with that Russian flag flying over head. RUSEV CRUSH!!

 

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The Ascension vs Goldust & Stardust

Winner: The Ascension via pinfall

 My beloved Ascension road their momentum from the impressive win over the New Age Outlaws at the Royal Rumble straight into a match with the Cosmic Twins. After some disagreement over who would start the match, Stardust began against Viktor and was thoroughly dominated as the former NXT Tag Team Champions cut the ring in half and kept the fresh man in with quick tags. A hot tag brought Goldust in who began to build momentum for his team and took control away from Konor and Viktor. Stardust however, tagged himself in and started hot but was put down when he attempted to attack Konor on the ring apron. Viktor mad the tag to his partner and the two delivered the Fall of Man to pick up a huge win over the former WWE Tag Team Champions.

It was good to see my boys in a match against actual competitors versus the newblets of yestermonth. The began to show why they were the most dominant tag team in NXT but still were not given enough time to really show what they are capable of. The lack of communication between Goldust and his brother also contributed to this win, but it isn’t Konor or Viktor’s fault that the stars weren’t aligned for the Cosmic twins. With this victory over the former tag champions, the Ascension move up the ladder of contendership  for the WWE tag team champions. Who would I like to see them destroy next? Hmmm… An A lister and his Stunt Double… yes… two more former tag champions, add them to the list of the fallen and then it’s one to some gold.

 

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Kane vs Daniel Bryan

Casket Match

Winner: Daniel Bryan

In what promised to be the end to their bitter rivalry, Daniel Bryan faced Kane in a casket match. How does one win a casket match, beat your opponent to a pulp, put them in the casket, close the lid and dance on their defeated body. The pace was set early by Kane who took his time in delivering brutal blows to Bryan. Kane attempted to end the match shortly after it began when he had D-Bry reeling and nearly had him in the casket. The pace began to quicken as the goat began to gain momentum and tried his hand at getting Kane into the casket.  The two would go back and forth with the Corporate Demon shutting down Daniel’s attempts to swing the match fully in his favor. But that isn’t to say that Bryan wasn’t resilient. He fought hard and delivered hard hitting kicks to Kane, and even locked the Devil’s Favorite Demon in the Yes Lock while half in the Casket.

It was a back and forth battle that saw both men a hairs breath from winning the match and doing everything they could to avoid being the one that the lid shut down on. It was Daniel’s perseverance though that won him the match. His inability to understand his place in life ended up paying off for him as he won the battle against his former Team Hell No partner by delivering a running double knee to the face of a teetering Kane. Daniel Bryan shut the lid, the bell rang, and the leader of the Yes Movement celebrated his victory with the WWE Universe.

I’m gonna give props to both men. Sure the match began slow, but in a Casket Match, the point is to beat your opponent down. You gotta be in it for the long haul and just abuse the other dude to the point where you can roll him in the box and shut the lid. I loved every tease to an ending. Both men, on multiple occasions found themselves in the casket and had to scramble to get out. Both mean also had their opponent in the casket and attempted to close the lid only to have the other power out of his predicament and show his opponent that there was still life left in him. To call this match a nail biter would be most accurate.

Even though he failed to deliver a victory, Kane did a great job. His performances have been a bit touch and  go, but he gave a good show in this match. And I will hand it to the goat faced troll, he got his ass beat but still had enough in the tank to squeak out a victory. But as they say where I’m from, even a blind hog will find an acorn from time to time. Simply put, he got lucky. He took advantage of Kane’s over confidence and was able to capitalize on the Corporate Demon’s mistake. Sometimes these things happen. But I have faith that the Authority will make this right in the end. Daniel Bryan was shown once he was a B+ player at best,  but he seems to think he is better than that. Those who know what’s best for business are now tasked with proving it to the garden gnome once again.

 

~Your, 

Angelic Heel

By Bryan Kluger

Former husky model, real-life Comic Book Guy, genre-bending screenwriter, nude filmmaker, hairy podcaster, pro-wrestling idiot-savant, who has a penchant for solving Rubik's Cubes and rolling candy cigarettes on unreleased bootlegs of Frank Zappa records.

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