If you have not heard that Spider-Man will be a stage musical, then you are late  to the party.  Spider-Man as a musical does not work.  The music was written by U2’s Bono and The Edge.  So if you are wondering if it will be dog shit then there is good news….It most certainly is.

Reeve Carney who will be playing Spider-Man sang on Good Morning America “Boy Falls From the Sky” this morning.  It is so goddamn sappy and corny that I wanted to stab my ears.  Literally the first line in the song is “You can change your mind, but you cannot change your heart!”  Fuck Me!  The song is not even about spider-man really.  The clip below will show you.

If the song does not make you want to puke then how about director Julie Taymor (Titus and Across the Universe) showing all of us the costume designs for the Green Goblin.

I mean really!  That is a Green Goblin Costume?  It looks more like something out of a bad French Ballet.  Is that a tutu he is wearing or a grass skirt?  FABULOUS!

And here is another costume design of something that I have no idea what it is.  It looks like a cross between the robot from Metropolis and a character I hated to battle in Tekken 3 ten years ago.

This is so bad that it goes beyond belief that this is actually going to happen.  Holy Shit I need to take a nap.  Below is the song.