None other than the poison-penned gossip reporter Rita Skeeter. We’ve learned that Harry and his wife, Ginny attended the Quidditch World Cup with the still-married Ron and Hermione. While Skeeter is not the kindest reporter , this is what we do know:

Harry is still working at the Ministry of Magic, about to turn 34, (Any true HP fan knows his birthday is July 31) Skeeter gives the description that “there are a couple of threads of silver in the famous Auror’s black hair, but he continues to wear the distinctive round glasses that some might say are better suited to a style-deficient twelve-year-old.” Harry also has a cut on his cheek, which Skeeter speculates could mean dark days ahead, given Potter’s important job as defender against the Dark Arts.

Ron used to work at the Ministry with Harry, but now co-manages his brothers’ joke shop ‘Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes’. His hair is thinning. Ron’s wife, Hermione is rising through the ranks at the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, where she serves as a deputy. Ginny is a journalist who will be covering the World Cup final. She and Harry are still married, though Skeeter charges that “cracks [begin] to show in a union that the Potters are determined to promote as happy.”  Seems like Neville Longbottom is a herbology teacher at Hogwarts, I wouldn’t mind taking his class, now! This is the best example of puberty done right! Luna Lovegood is still relatively spacey.

The new story coincides rather handily with the opening of the new Diagon Alley section of The Wizarding World of Harry Potter at Universal Studios. If you want to read it, sign up for Pottermore. Rest assured, you’re not the only adult who has a membership. That line was creepy enough to add the following, watch your kids using Pottermore, as there are a number of adults who visit the site daily, and possibly more after this publishes.