The stage is nearly set, the heat is already oppressive, and somewhere in the distance, a folding chair is weeping in anticipation. Yes, friends, professional wrestling; America’s most gloriously choreographed fever dream; is hurtling back to Texas in a very big way. On July 12, Globe Life Field in Arlington (a cavernous temple to both baseball, rock n’ roll, and now wrestling) will host AEW: All In, the biggest wrestling event to hit the Lone Star State since someone last DDT’d an opponent into a Whataburger parking lot table.
This is not just a wrestling show; it’s an ecclesiastical gathering of body slams and broken promises. And it’s happening mere miles from the hallowed ground of the now-defunct Sportatorium, that sweat-drenched cathedral where legends bled freely and mullets reigned supreme. Call it wrestling’s version of coming home for the high school reunion; if everyone at your high school was jacked, oiled up, and emotionally unstable.
Fans will descend on DFW like luchadors from the rafters, with hearts full of hope and forearms ready for forearm smashes. Expect chaos. Expect carnage. Expect someone; probably Darby Allin; to leap off something very tall with reckless poetry. Already confirmed is a dream match of almost mythological proportions: Toni Storm vs. Mercedes Moné for the AEW Women’s World Championship, a contest that promises to be more barn-burning than a tax-free fireworks stand in July.
Elsewhere on the card: Jon Moxley and Hangman Adam Page will engage in their own brand of ultra-violent ballet for the AEW World Title; think of it as a therapy session with steel chairs and far fewer boundaries.
More matches are expected to materialize soon, like bruises on a rookie’s chest. But in the meantime, a gracious entity known only as Boomstick has blessed the public with discounted tickets ranging from $41 -$350; a divine offering in these times of inflation and premium pay-per-view pricing.
So click accordingly, secure your seats, and come bask in the beautifully absurd, oddly Shakespearean spectacle that is AEW: All In. I’ll be there too. Just follow the sound of someone yelling “SCISSOR ME, DADDY” while holding a Lone Star and a Boomstick Hotdog.
CLICK HERE TO GET YOUR DISCOUNT TICKETS
