Hi, Bryan and Lisa S. Here…..

I had some help writing this article with writer, Lisa S.   Lisa hails from netherworld of the Northwest and is not above watching zombie movies for 24 hours straight.  She loves all kinds of scary movies and is an avid music fan.  You might even find her perusing the used DVD bin at your local movie store looking for old Ernest movies and Sifl and Olly discs.  Lisa helped quite a bit with this article and you can expect her read many more of her articles on this site from this point forward.  Give her a warm welcome and visit her online book and record store HERE.

Now let’s get to the list.  Here are Boomstick’s Top 20 Female Badasses in film and television.  I tried to keep it in the horror/sci-fi genre, but a couple of action star made it in there.  These females are the most hardcore we feel, by how much ass they kick, their courage, and their sex appeal.  We dare you to find better role models and badasses than this.  Enjoy the list.

20) Sarah Michelle Gellar – Buffy Summers – Buffy The Vampire Slayer

Everyone’s favorite vampire killer, with the exception of Blade.  Gellar’s Buffy is no joke. She killed a lot of vampires in her time, and while she might have been a cunt about it, she still protected her friends, and fought the forces of evil, all while going to school.  Not to mention, she could sing, dance, and drive wooden stakes through vampire’s chests without breaking a nail.  Plus, Gellar is very sexy.  A sexy girl who can read the Torah.

19) Gina Carano – Mallory Kane – Haywire

This is the newcomer on the list.  Gina Carano is actually an MMA fighter, and a good one at that.  If I were to fight her, I’d pretend I was having an athsma attack and pretend to pass out in the fetal position.  Her role in ‘Haywire’ was incredible.  Not her acting, but her martial arts skills. She kills everyone in her path, which are all bad people, and even manages to be knockout while doing so.  Give her a few more films, and I bet she’ll be at the top of this list.

18) Carrie-Anne Moss – Trinity – The Matrix

The holy trinity…just kidding.  Carrie-Anne Moss gives Trinity major balls in The Matrix trilogy.  Not only does she have to  deal with Keanu Reeves’s shit constantly, but she takes control of massive battleships, can handle a gun better than any man, and can fight fairly well too.  There really is nothing she can’t do.  She even looks decent enough in the “real world” as well as in her tight black outfit in the films.

17) Milla Jovovich – Alice – Resident Evil

I put Alice on here solely because she has survived millions of zombies, giant zombie dogs, and slimy fucking monsters.  She makes it look all too easy, which must be hard to do.  I mean, Alice, just keeps on trucking, and looks good while she does it.  Sure, she enlists the help of others, but hey, if the zombie apocalypse is headed our way (it is), i would want her in front, leading the charge.  Still can’t believe this chick was the stoner chick from ‘Dazed and Confused’.

16) Liv Tyler – Arwen Evenstar Undomiel – Lord of the Rings

This fucking elf takes on 9 black riders all at once.  This is really only seen in porn, but Peter Jackson showed his version in Lord of the Rings, fucking elf style.  Arwen’s only real task is (in the films, mind you) is escorting a sick Frodo to Rivendell and protecting him from the Ring Wraiths who are hot on their trail.  She whips out her curvy sword and threatens the 9 black riders to bring it on.  Well, of course they try, but she uses her magical elf sex powers and summons a giant water tsunami in the form of horses that take out the wraiths.  Pretty fucking classy. Plus, Liv Tyler i hot in elf ears.

15) Jamie Lee Curtis – Laurie Strode – Halloween

Jamie Lee Curtis is the first female I remember that stood up to a true monster.  If I were Laurie Strode, I would have run around crying like a little girl with skinned knee, but Jamie gave Laurie Strode the power to fight pure evil.  Pure evil in a jumpsuit with a large knife.  She is a true badass.

14) Rhona Mitra – Eden Sinclair – Doomsday

Most of you probably didn’t see this film, but I implore you, see it. You won’t regret it. This film is set in a sort of post apocalyptic world where a virus has turned people into blood thirsty zombies.  Mix in some non-zombie people who are act like they are straight out of the Road Warrior, and you have ‘Doomsday’.  The beautiful Rhona Mitra plays Eden Sinclair, an orphan who is trained in the military to kill bad people in this post apocalyptic world.  She is crafty with blades of steel, she can shoot guns very well, and can take out a 500 pound, 7 foot armored guard with ease, and with only one eye.  Plus she can drive a car on par with James Bond.  She is badass and I will take her out to a steak dinner and never call her again.

13) Scarlett Johansson – Natasha Romanoff/Black Widow – The Avengers

The Black Widow from the Marvel Universe is indeed deadly.  But not only that, she can get you to tell her top secret information by playing with your emotions.  With most of the females on here, Natasha Romanoff can probably kill everyone on here, without any weapons.  She is sort of a super hero of sorts.  Well, Leeloo might giver her some shit, but Romanoff is trained to kick alien ass, so if I were a betting man, I’d bet on the Widow.  Plus Johansson plays the Widow very well.  And those skin tight outfits are spot on.

12) Milla Jovovich – Leeloo – The 5th Element

Leeloo, played by the lovely Milla Jovovich is an interesting one.  Technically, Leeloo is an alien that has a female body.  But, let’s include her on here, because she is very badass.  First off, she’s from outer space, an alien, and can take out a herd of giant fucking monsters all by herself.  She can handle a gun like a heavily trained marine, eat like a 500 pound fat man, and look cute while doing all of it.  That outfit of hers, with the orange strands of rubber, or the white pieces of cloth that cover very little of her body is super hot.  I definitely want Leeloo on my side.

11)Kate Beckinsale – Selene – Underworld

Even though I dislike these films, you can’t help but think of Kate Beckinsale as Selene when you are talking about female badasses.  First off, Selene hangs with Vampires and Werewolves.  Chick digs monsters, what can I say.  And she can kick ass like nobody’s business, and all in slow motion too.  And Beckinsale’s outfits are insanely perfect for her.

10) Rachel Ticotin – Melina – Total Recall (1990)

Hell yes, I’m bring out Melina from the original ‘Total Recall’.  She is extremely badass.  She can kick anybody’s ass without the help of California’s past governor.  Plus I like anyone who can kick Sharon Stone’s ass, shoot an uzi, and take up residence on Mars.  Plus she hangs out at a strip club.  Pretty badass if you ask me.

9) Pam Grier – Foxy Brown – Foxy Brown

This list would never be complete without the style and badassness of Foxy Brown.  Pam Grier is a huge sex symbol and was a complete hardcore badass who took out bad guys left and right.  She always stood for what was right and never let anyone get in her way.  I don’t think they could ever remake Foxy Brown and make it good.  Grier just owned that role.  Don’t fuck with the Grier.

8) Rose McGowan – Cherry Darling – Planet Terror

There aren’t many female stars that come to mind who could have pulled off this role as well as Rose. I challenge any of you to teeter around on 3 inch heels while looking perfectly sexy, and perfectly badass, all while shootin’ up zombies with a machine gun in place of a shapely leg. Seriously. Alright, it doesn’t hurt that she’s all about tits, ass, and lip gloss, but Rose still has a certain quality that is very natural, very believable, and very appealing to men and women alike (um, hello opening credits dance scene, anyone?? I’d give her all my money, and I’m a chick). Even if you aren’t a Charmed fan, you gotta give a girl credit where credit is due: she makes whippin’ ass look real good.  Plus she tells amazing jokes and wants to be a stand-up comedienne.

7) Uma Thurman – Beatrix Kiddo – Kill Bill

Uma is one of the ultimate and coolest badass chicks in the world.  She handles a samurai sword very well and takes out a gang, scratch that, a Japanese gang of over 88 people all by herself.  Not only that, she plucks eyeballs out for breakfast, and can escape a coffin buried six feet deep.  All of this after she was shot in the head.  Chick is hardcore.  Plus that beautiful blonde hair and yellow suit makes her sexy as she gets her revenge.

6) Zoe Bell – Zoe Bell – Death Proof

Zoe Bell is my new favorite hero. Leave it to Tarantino to pull yet another one out of ‘obscurity’ into the forefront, and into superstardom. She is the perfect example of how someone who is REAL–just being themselves–can outshine far and above someone else on Hollywood’s laundry list of ‘top 10’ ack-tors. True, she got her real start playing Xena’s stunt double, but she hadn’t really acted before, and she does a brilliant, bang-up (heh) job of it in Death Proof. If you want to learn more about Zoe even before she became Uma Thurman’s stunt double in Kill Bill, check out Double Dare, a documentary featuring Zoe and Jeannie Epper, a 70’s & 80’s stuntwoman superstar. Available on Netflix.

4) Carrie Fisher – Princess Leia Organa – Star Wars

What can be said about Carrie Fisher that hasn’t already been said (good and bad). Frankly, I don’t claim to think I could shed any light on her or her super iconic character, I’d be beaten down by the hardcore fans before I could get a word out. All I can say is she’s had some mighty big boots to fill what with her Mother’s outstanding career and longevity, and living up to the name, Leia, and that damned Jabba slave costume. And we all know now that she took drugs and starved herself to look so great in that costume.  Anyone can get lucky and land a hit role. Anyone can sleep their way to the top. And anyone can grease the palm of a bigwig to be put in a film. But it takes a certain star quality to hold your own in a role created by men, for men, and to appeal directly to the largely male audience these films were created for.  And for this, I say Carrie Fisher is the most badass of them all. Because it takes real guts to live a real life in the real world, when you are known almost exclusively as a fictional character you played 35 years ago.

3) Katee Sackhoff – Captain Kara ‘Starbuck’ Thrace – Battlestar Galactica

If I have a daughter someday, I want her to be exactly like Katee Sackhoff in Battlestar Galactica. She doesn’t take shit from human or robot.  She smokes cigars, wins at poker, drinks whiskey, and is not above of fighting her superiors.  Not too mention she is the best pilot in outer space.  Sackhoff plays Starbuck to the bone.  She’s a brutal fighter and will kick evil’s ass till the end.  I liked Starbuck with her longer har, but she still rocked the shorter hair.  Plus, to tell you how badass this chick is, she gets in the boxing ring with men double her size and takes them out.  Love this girl.

2) Gina Torres – Zoe Washburne – Firefly/Serenity

Gina Torres is a badass on a whole different level.  Here character Zoe in the Firefly universe is just plain badass.  I don’t know any other chick who can carry a giant gun, and not hesitate to shoot anything or anyone.  Plus, she always keeps calm as she does it.  She never freaks out or loses her cool.  Plus, you know she is s cool and fun chick, because she married Wash, the geeky pilot on Firefly.  And she is uber hot too.  Those skin tight pants she wears show off her amazing curves very well.  She is a role model and force to reckon with.

1) Sigourney Weaver – Lieutenant Ellen L. Ripley – Alien

Aside from this role really putting Sigourney on the map, it was one of the great victories for women in film of the time, playing the heroine who actually made it out alive. Ok guys, you’re probably judging the ass factor of the panty scene, but you cannot deny her badassness when she finally conquers the queen in Aliens. I particularly love that she is a no-frills kinda woman (not that there are frills to be had in deep space) but she just doesn’t need that stuff. She’s A#1 in my book for having king sized balls while still looking (and acting) like a lady.

*Honorable Mention*

Linnea Quigley – Trash – Return of the Living Dead 

This chick is awesome, however, she is all talk when it comes to being a badass.  Sure, she gets naked, but that doesn’t make you badass.  And she gets killed pretty easily and doesn’t even fight back.  But, we figured she is too cool to leave off this list. – – Now I know what you’re thinking, and Linnea is way more badass than just boobs. She played Trash with confidence and style and, yes, pranced and danced around stark naked (leg warmers don’t count when you can see every lady part you have, prosthetics or no) without so much as a bat of an eyelash. But she is badass in that role because she isn’t afraid of anything (despite what she says), even while being eaten alive by zombies, it’s kinda truly her desire..or at least that is my perception.  Additionally, Linnea is a trooper on the Horror Con circuit, and I gotta hand it to her, it takes a helluva lot of graciousness and patience to smile through the droves of zombie nerds while they drool and undress you (once again) with their eyes.