Hi everyone, Bryan here….


You’re going on vacation with the family or you’re trying to get home from a business trip and nothing seems to go right in the travel department. The flight is delayed, there are 300 people in line for security, not a single employee will help you, and the rent car you reserved is not even in the system. We all have our horror travel stories, some worse than others. In these situations, most of us keep our cool, grab a beer at the airport, and wait for it all to blow over. That being said, our inner monologue would tell a different story, in that we would love to just explode and tell off an employee who isn’t helping our situation at all.

That’s where we meet Steve Martin at his lowest in Planes, Trains, and Automobiles, which was written, produced, and directed the amazing John Hughes.

I truly believe he did what we all secretly want to do on a bad day and just tell off our boss or someone in charge. With this scene, Martin has already been through the ringer more than once with his on-screen partner John Candy and he is at his wit’s end here, as he walks up to a rental-car associate and just let’s her have it from the get-go. It’s super funny with Steve Martin’s over-exaggerated facial expressions and annunciation of every word. You really feel for the guy even though he’s being an ass.

The whole film is amazing, though this scene just steals the show.


Car Rental Agent: [cheerfully] Welcome to Marathon, may I help you?

Neal: Yes.

Car Rental Agent: How may I help you?

Neal: You can start by wiping that fucking dumb-ass smile off your rosey, fucking, cheeks! And you can give me a fucking automobile: a fucking Datsun, a fucking Toyota, a fucking Mustang, a fucking Buick! Four fucking wheels and a seat!

Car Rental Agent: I really don’t care for the way you’re speaking to me.

Neal: And I really don’t care for the way your company left me in the middle of fucking nowhere with fucking keys to a fucking car that isn’t fucking there. And I really didn’t care to fucking walk, down a fucking highway, and across a fucking runway to get back here to have you smile in my fucking face. I want a fucking car RIGHT FUCKING NOW!

Car Rental Agent: May I see your rental agreement?

Neal: I threw it away.

Car Rental Agent: Oh boy.

Neal: Oh boy, what?

Car Rental Agent: You’re fucked!



By Bryan Kluger

Former husky model, real-life Comic Book Guy, genre-bending screenwriter, nude filmmaker, hairy podcaster, pro-wrestling idiot-savant, who has a penchant for solving Rubik's Cubes and rolling candy cigarettes on unreleased bootlegs of Frank Zappa records.

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