Hi everyone, Bryan here….

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The 89th Oscars were announced today. These are supposed to be the Best Achievements in Filmmaking on all levels. However, year after year, The Academy and “their infinite wisdom” choose to pick dull films that should never be nominated. In fact, I bet you could go through most of the Winners of each year and realize you only watched that film or performance once and never thought about it again. At least The Academy had a good bit of diversity this year, but other than that – these Oscar nominations are boring, dull, and made me go to sleep just watching the equally not-fun announcement telecast.

Every year, there are of course some snubs of people or films that don’t receive a nomination. It happens. This year though, pretty much every film was snubbed that should have garnered that next step to that sweet sweet golden statue. I know the producers and executives have been trying to conjure up a bigger audience for the Oscars, but with safe, Oscar-Bait movies that you won’t watch again and forget in a year or two, why bother ever watching the Oscars, minus Jimmy Kimmel’s sure-to-be-funny performance.

 

If you want the real list of Oscar Nominations – CLICK HERE.

 

However, in a PERFECT WORLD, here’s what the 89th Oscar Nominations should’ve looked like.

 

BEST PICTURE

Captain Fantastic

Swiss Army Man

The Witch

Hunt For The Wilderpeople

Arrival

Deadpool

Captain America: Civil War

La La Land

Silence

BEST DIRECTOR

Denis Villeneueve (Arrival)

Robert Eggers (The Witch)

Anthony Russo, Joe Russo (Captain America: Civil War)

Taika Waititi (Hunt for the Wilderpeople)

Dan Kwan, Daniel Scheinert (Swiss Army Man)

Park Chan-wook (The Handmaiden)

BEST ACTOR

Don Cheadle (Miles Ahead)

Paul Dano (Swiss Army Man)

Ryan Reynolds (Deadpool)

Viggo Mortensen (Captain Fantastic)

Julian Dennison (Hunt for the Wilderpeople)

BEST ACTRESS

Amy Adams (Arrival)

Meryl Streep (Florence Foster Jenkins)

Anya Taylor-Joy (The Witch)

Isabelle Huppert (Elle)

Mary Elizabeth Winstead (10 Cloverfield Lane)

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR

John Goodman (10 Cloverfield Lane)

Michael Shannon (Nocturnal Animals)

Keegan-Michael Key (Don’t Think Twice)

Idris Elba (Star Trek Beyond)

Ralph Ineson (The Witch)

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS

Emayatzy Corinealdi (Miles Ahead)

Jena Malone (The Neon Demon)

Annette Bening (20th Century Women)

Kate Dickey (The Witch)

Viola Davis (Fences)

BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY

Eric Heisserer (Arrival)

Rhett Reese, Paul Wernick (Deadpool)

Jay Cocks, Martin Scorsese (Silence)

Justin Marks (The Jungle Book)

Whit Stillman (Love and Friendship)

BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY

Joel Coen, Ethan Coen (Hail! Caesar)

Mike Birbiglia (Don’t Think Twice)

Matt Ross (Captain Fantastic)

Robert Eggers (The Witch)

Shane Black, Anthony Bagarozzi (The Nice Guys)

BEST ANIMATED FEATURE

Zootopia

Long Way North

Kubo and the Two Strings

The Red Turtle

Moana

BEST DOCUMENTARY FEATURE

Tickled

Weiner

Rats

Eat The Question: Frank Zappa in his Own Words

Life, Animated

BEST FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM

Elle

The Handmaiden

A Man Called Ove

Toni Erdmann

Julieta

BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY 

Natasha Braier (The Neon Demon)

Jarin Blascheke (The Witch)

Bradford Young (Arrival)

Linus Sandgren (La La Land)

Rodgrio Pietro (Silence)

BEST FILM EDITING

Jeffrey Ford, Matthew Schmidt (Captain America: Civil War)

Blu Murray (Sully)

Tom Cross (La La Land)

Joe Walker (Arrival)

Kim Jae-bum, Kim Sang-bum (The Handmaiden)

 

 

 

By Bryan Kluger

Former husky model, real-life Comic Book Guy, genre-bending screenwriter, nude filmmaker, hairy podcaster, pro-wrestling idiot-savant, who has a penchant for solving Rubik's Cubes and rolling candy cigarettes on unreleased bootlegs of Frank Zappa records.

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