Hey guys, Jana here

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There is nothing sacred! The remake machine has just been programmed to spit out a more current film about a group of girls with more than a passing interest in the occult and befriend a new student to their Catholic high school. That’s right, ‘The Craft‘ is going under the knife, new director Leigh Janiak will nip, tuck, plump and suck every part of the original premise until the end product is unidentifiable.

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Janiak is not as green as they come, but she’s close. The film ‘Honeymoon‘ from last year and one episode of MTV’s revamp ‘Scream‘ as a series is all she has to her credits thus far but she’s co-writing the script for this project with Phil Graziadei. Forget where Janiak has been, I’m concerned with where she’s going with the 1996 staple of a well-balanced film diet. She sold Sony executives with her take on ‘The Craft‘ as a total girl-power story. Hello? Wasn’t that what the first one was?

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Call me sentimental but I would bet they can cast the hell of the bastardization, but until you show me a current counter-part to Faruza Balk’s natural sexy/creepy charm, I remain unconvinced this project has legs. I remember lazy summer days that seemed better when I found ‘The Craft‘ on HBO or Cinemax. My sister and our friends would then try the whole “light as a feather, stiff as a board” thing, then talk about the first things we would do if we had powers like that. We’re seeing the decline of the original thought in Hollywood with each remake announcement, at least we’re seeing it in Imax and Dolby surround sound, right?

 

 

By Bryan Kluger

Former husky model, real-life Comic Book Guy, genre-bending screenwriter, nude filmmaker, hairy podcaster, pro-wrestling idiot-savant, who has a penchant for solving Rubik's Cubes and rolling candy cigarettes on unreleased bootlegs of Frank Zappa records.

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