Angelic Heel Once Again!
The last Raw before Extreme Rules (which can be seen on the WWE Network, FREE for the month of April to new subscribers) was an intense emotional roller coaster. The Apex Predator stalked the halls RKOing anyone and everyone, the WWE Universe learned who the #1 Contenders to the Tag titles were, and there appeared to be trouble in the Authority family. This hard hitting installment of the longest running episodic television show did not disappoint and kept the hits coming. Did you miss it? Wanna know what happened? Find out now!
Randy Orton Vows to Get the RKO Out of His System
Randy Orton began the night in the steel cage. He spoke about the horrible things he planned to do to our beloved World Heavy Weight Champion, such as break his jaw to deprive the WWE Universe of our champion’s inspiring words, break his ribs from the copious amounts of stomping, and then grab Seth by his blond hair and throw him into the cage repeatedly. It was truly traumatic to listen to how Orton planned to inflict pain on the champion.
But the undisputed future of the WWE rescued us from listening to more of these planned unspeakable acts as he interrupted the Viper. Rollins assured Randy that he would be able to out maneuver him in the ring because as good as Randy was, he was just that much better. He continued to dress down Orton and those that refused to see what’s best for business and Buy In. Orton however, rudely interrupted Seth and said that since the RKO was banned on Sunday then he needed to get it out of his system. This night, he was going to RKO anyone he saw fit in the back and before the night was through, he would RKO Seth Rollins.
Dean Ambrose vs Luke Harper
Winner: No Contest
In a feud that began in power bombs, these two hard hitting brawlers looked to settle their differences inside the ring. Dean Ambrose wasted little time in launching himself at Harper and using his body as a weapon in an effort to try to incapacitate his opponent. However, Luke is not that easily over come as he returned each blow he was dealt with ones of his own. The action spilled into the WWE Universe and the two continued to brawl through the crowd as the ref counted them both out. The action did not end there as they punched, kicked, and flew at each other all the way up to the ramp. Luke Harper went to power bomb the Lunatic Fringe off the stage onto the concrete below, but Ambrose narrowly avoided it but did find himself thrown viciously off the stage. Luckily the Unstable one rolled through the throw avoiding any serious injury. However, once back on the stage, he discovered that his swamp rat prey had escaped him.
If this brawl is any indication on what the WWE Universe can expect from their Chicago Street Fight, we are all in for one of the more brutal treats on the card. Harper has vowed to make Ambrose fear him, Ambrose on the other hand has only answered this with his intense frantic style of whooping ass. What I enjoy about this pairing is that there really is no rhyme or reason to it other than it’s two guys who just plain don’t like each other and want to beat the living dog crap out of one another. Makes for a fun fight. And I say, LET THEM FIGHT!
The New Day vs The Lucha Dragons
Winner Becomes #1 Contender for WWE Tag Team Championships
Winner: The New Day
This match was hot and fast paced from the onset. The Lucha Dragons came on hard and held control at the beginning but the power of Big E grounded Sin Cara. The Faceless One was able to counter and create the separation needed to tag in Kalisto to pick up the pace and gain control of the match. The two overwhelmed their New Day foes and landed stereo double moonsaults to Kofi and Big E. However, Xavier woods held onto Sin Cara’s feet and held him out side the ring to allow Big E to pick up the win via count out. However, as the New day celebrated their victory, The Viper rushed the ring and RKOed Kingston and Woods. It looked as if Big E was going to receive an RKO of his own, but he left his team mates in the ring, living to fight another day.
It was a decent fun match to see who would be the team to challenge Tyson Kid and Cesaro. I will say that this new New Day is starting to blip on my radar. Still not to liking them yet, need to see more tactics of my people to be really sold on them. But it is fun to see their growth in the Heel arts. At least the crowd isn’t dead when they come out now.
Fandango vs Curtis Axel
Relishing his new found single status, Fandango went into one on one action against Curtis Axel. Mr. Axelmania had a brief moment of offense but it did not last long as the dancing superstar hit his Last Dance Leg Drop to pick up the win before dancing into the night with the WWE Universe.
Not much to really speak about other than Fandango seems to be dancing into the hearts of the WWE universe as more and more of them keep Fandangoing. Axelmania has become more of a joke and has reached offical jobber status (not that he ever lost it, but he lost to Fandango, another professional jobber)
Triple H’s Tough Enough Announcement Does Not Go as Planned
At long last the COO of the WWE and the man who knows what’s best for business has decided to return to his adoring public. Triple H graced the WWE Universe with his presence and he has a huge announcement about Touch Enough! The contest to see who could become a WWE Superstar was now accepting video submissions and the show would be returning live to the USA Network on June 23rd.
Kane, however, felt this was the opportune time to seek a meeting with the COO regarding his issues with the WWE World heavy Weight Champion. The Director of Operations attempted to turn in his two week notice but was talked out of it by Hunter. This brought out our beloved champion who told Triple H, that if Kane wanted to go then good riddance, they didn’t need him any how! Things continued to heat up as Rollins and Kane continued to have words and Triple H was forced to play peace maker between the two of them.
Hunter reminded Seth that there had been no one more loyal to the Authority than the Corporate Demon and that as a reward for his loyalty, Triple H named Kane the official gatekeeper to the steel cage. He also suggested that since Kane was now the official gate keeper that it would be in Rollins’ best interest to get on the same page as the Director of Operations. Kane and Seth shook hands, and an uneasy peace had been struck.
Hunter should win a Nobel Peace Prize! This situation almost turned beyond ugly and it was only a moment before the Director of Operations was laying face down in a pool of his own drool. Seth would not have taken much more of that disrespect to his person and the title he fought so hard for. Seth also showed that he could be the bigger man as he made peace with the near 7ft monster. I am excited about Touch Enough as well. I was a fan of it when it first started as it showed a lot of the behind the scenes ins and outs of the business that I love so much. Can’t wait to see what this season has in store for the WWE Universe!
Naomi vs Brie Bella
Naomi was none too happy to be facing Brie Bella on Raw. Because of her attack on Paige, the former Funckadactyl inherited the #1 contendership for the Diva’s Championship. The match began and Naomi came on hard as she dominated Brie from the on set of the bell. Her new aggressive attitude influenced her match as her hits were harder than we are used to seeing from Mrs. Uso. Brie briefly began to mount an offence but Brie mode was cut short and a Rear View to the face picked up the win for Naomi.
Naomi looked as if she was on a mission. Possibly testing the twin bond trying to get Nikki to feel the abuse that will be inflicted on her on Sunday at Extreme Rules. I do so enjoy how she takes to being one of my people so easily. Naomi is easily one of the most talented Divas. It will definitely be interesting to see who will destroy the other in their title match on Sunday.
Roman Reigns Calls Out Big Show, Gets Bo Dallas
Earlier in the evening we were told that Roman Reigns was going to get a chance to address the WWE Universe on the Big Show’s actions to him last week. However, Roman had another idea and stated he didn’t want to talk, he just wanted to beat Big Show’s ass and then he called out the World’s Largest Athlete. It wasn’t the 7 footer who answered. It was the man gifted with the ability to motivate the masses, Bo Dallas.
Dallas said that Roman was the Tim Tebow of the WWE, and that despite all that he had been given he was a bit of a bust. Reigns decided he had heard enough and Superman punched Dallas and then speared him as he rose to his feet. It was at this point that he once again vowed to take out the Big Show at Extreme Rules.
This was a short little segment that was mainly for giggles ( at least that’s what i’m telling myself) Roman made his point and the WWE Universe got to see Bo Dallas eat the mat. Sometimes it must be really good to be the Big Dog of the yard.
Sheamus vs Zack Ryder
Aas soon as the bell rang, poor Zack Ryder ate a Brouge kick. But Sheamus refused to pin him but rather opted to beat the living snot out of the broski. As he did so, he gave his own commentary on the match and reiterated that the WWE was a big man’s land and not for pip squeeks like Ryder. The beating continued with no end in site until Dolph Ziggler rushed the ring and viciously attacked the Irishmen, forcing the ref to disqualify Ryder and give the win to Sheamus.
Poor Zack Ryder can’t even win a match with help. But it was definitely fun seeing the Browski. No one loses more and still remains loved by the fans. than Ryder does. Dolph coming to the aid of Zack at the end was a bit of fun and only heated up the match between Ziggy and Sheamus at Extreme Rules!
John Cena vs Kane
United States Championship Match
Winner: John Cena
John Cena once again came out and blah blahed like he has a tendency to do. Once again he explained how to win a Russian chain match (because apparently the WWE Universe has the attention span of a goldfish ad must have forgotten when he explained it on Smackdown…) Well once again Cena was up to his bullying ways and issued the John Cena open challenge. And who would step up? Why the Corporate Demon himself, Kane!
Kane dominated most of the match easily over powering the United States Champion. No matter what Cena attempted to throw his way, Kane battled back out of it. However it was not to be for the Director of operations as he was the unfortunate recipient of an Attitude Adjustment and was pinned, putting an end to his attempt to become the United States Champion.
It was a hoot seeing Cena get choke slammed. That always makes my day. Or when Kane picked john up and dropped him on the barricade? Oh yes good times! It was a shame that Cena’s super power kept kicking in (or out at two >.>) otherwise we could have had someone who is aware of what is best for business as champion instead of a spot light whoring bully who’s face thinks it runs the place.
The Miz vs Damien Mizdow
Winner Keeps ‘The Miz’ Brand
Winner: The Miz
The action was intense as the “Miz” brand was on the line between these two competitors. Damien took the fight directly to his former employer and wasted no time in his attempt to win. But the Miz has been around for a while and knew exactly what he needed to do to win. However, his roll up attempt and holding of the tights did not get him the win this time round. The two traded blows and Mizdow once again pulled off Miz’s moves better than the Miz. But it was Summer Rae who made the difference as she raked her claws along the former stunt double’s face and allowed Miz to pick up the win and the rights to stay himself. But as he was celebrating, a wild Randy Orton appeared and RKOed the star of “Marine 4.”
I so don’t feel as if this is over. Sure Sandow lost the rights to “the Miz” brand but he’s talented enough that he is definately going to make the Miz (and Summer Rae) pay for it. And while some are bemoaning the loss, I say Damien Sandow doesn’t need Miz’s traits to get on top. He’s the intellectual savior of the masses after all. He’s more intelligent than the majority of the WWE Universe, he will figure something out and be on top once more. You’re Welcome!
Ryback vs Adam Rose
Ryback feast on party animal Adam Rose in a very quick match. The hungry one wasted no time in taking control of the match with a few hard hits. but rose did not go down without a bit of a fight as he attempted to mount an offense that was quickly shut down and met with a meat hook clothes line and followed with a shell shock to give Ryback the win. After the match, two of the Rosebuds, Hot dog and banana, tried to ambush Ryback, but he ate them too and delivered a double shell shock to the both of them.
Adam Rose is reaching Jack Swagger rates of jobbing. Hard to believe that in another life he was once pre NXT developmental champion. It’s time for Adam to get on the hunt again. (some of you will get that 😉 )Not sure why the Rosebuds attacked, guess they took Ryback saying “feed me more” a bit too literally as both were food items. But hey it was just an entertaining match for entertainments sake and I enjoyed it as such.
WWE World Heavy Weight Champion Seth Rollins vs Dolph Ziggler
Winner: Seth Rollins
When ever i hear of a match between Dolph Ziggler and the savior of the WWE Seth Rollins, I get giddy. The two never disappoint to deliver a match that keeps you on the edge of your seat and this one fell into that category as well. The two went after one another hot and furious, exchanging blows and offense as we expect them to do. Ziggler nearly got a win with a well placed super kick and later a DDT that planted the champs head in the mat. But this is far from Rollins’ first rodeo as he answered those blows with turn buckle powerbombs, and accurate kicks of his own that made Ziggler look gorgeous in near unconsciousness.
Sheamus felt that he needed a closer look at his Extreme Rules opponent and made his way down to the ring. This distract the Show Off enough that our beloved champion took advantage and delivered a devastating maneuver (that was not the curb stomp) that picked up the win over the Zig man. After the match Rollins was congratulated by Triple H, but Seth in his excitement cut the COO off and continued his line of how Kane was not what the Authority needed any more. This brought out the Corporate Demon who had heard enough. He was intercepted by Hunter who was still in peace keeper mode. Seth however figured he would be safe in the steel cage as it began to lower around him. But sometimes plans back fire as Randy Orton slithered into the cage and made good on his promise to RKO Seth before the night was over.
As stated, these matches never disappoint. I could (and do) watch them over and over and stay entertained. The chemistry between Dolph and Seth is something that magic is made from everytime they interact, be it in a match or facing one another on the microphone. I’d love to see Dolph in the main event scene against Seth. talk about a feud that would rival the fun that Rollins and Ambrose had last summer. It would leave the WWE Universe hungry for more. But then again, seth can be in the ring against a toaster and have a good match. Just sayin.