Paul N., Here…


Sometimes, when we watch movies (even bad ones), we look at the technology used and think to ourselves “man, I really need that in my life”. The following is a list of the ten most “give it to me now” technological advances from cinema. This does not mean that the following movies are good, but that the technology used in them is highly desirable. To avoid the list becoming too narrow in focus (like weapons only), or convoluted by tech from one franchise (like Star Trek), the following list has a range of tech from weapons to medical gadgets, each from a completely different movie or franchise.


10. NTZ-48 from Limitless – You’re probably thinking that pills don’t belong on a list of technology. Well, these pills were bio-engineered. That means it took technology to create such a medical marvel. Yes, the science behind this film is flawed, as is the science in the inferior copy-cat film Lucy. But that doesn’t mean that a pill that could instantly increase your intellect, recall, logic, and other neuro-capabilities wouldn’t be insanely useful (not to mention cool)! Of course, you’ll just need to make sure you neutralize the side effects first.


9. The Neuralyzer from Men in Black – While I have never had the impulse to “flashy thing” anyone, I have to admit that it would come in handy to be able to make people (even myself) forget embarrassing moments or unfortunate events. Just imagine how much you could boost someone’s self-esteem if you could instantly make them forget those that hurt them and instead replace those memories with positive ones – or you could take this device to Vegas and win tons of cash. Either/or, I guess.


8. The Lawgiver from Dredd – The ultimate in home defense. This gun, even in the crappy Stallone film was so cool that it stole the show.  For those of you unfamiliar with this weapon, let me fill you in. It’s basically a hand cannon with the capability for instantly-interchangeable bullet types. All you have to do is say certain key words to the gun like “explosive” or “incendiary” and voilà, you have a grenade launcher or flame-thrower. Plus, its handprint and voice recognition protection means that no burglar will be able to use it against you.


7. Home Computer Display from Iron Man – No, I am not talking about JARVIS. Ok, sort of. While JARVIS would indeed be cool, I have a different A.I. in mind further down this list. What I have here is the computer display capabilities of Tony Stark’s home computer. Mapping objects, having the computer respond to your voice to include/exclude aspects, manipulating the “screen” with your bare hands in a 3-D space are all highly useful tools that are (quite honestly) probably being invented as we speak.


6. Brain-Downloading from Matrix – Hear me out. While it may not be so fun to stick large metal rods into the back of our skulls, wouldn’t it be great to instantly download any knowledge straight into our brains? Studying is for losers! Real brainiacs download the books directly into their brains. Want to learn how to be a pilot? Done. Learn a foreign language? Took 30 seconds. Besides, it’s not fair that only Keanu gets to know kung-fu!


5. A.I. from Her – What’s that you say? “What about JARVIS?” I have two words for you: Scarlett Johansson. I win. Who wouldn’t want an artificial intelligence operating system for their computers, especially one so sexy?! Need to catch up on work, but have numerous menial tasks that require your attention? She can handle the monotonous crap and allow you to focus your energy on what’s really important. Plus, you can always have someone to talk to if you need it. It’s like having your very own personal secretary that never screws up, asks for a raise, or shows up to work late. Plus, did I mention Scarlett Johansson? Just keep her away from other A.I. and you’ll be golden!

med bay

4. Med-bays from Elysium – No longer would you have to pay exuberant medical costs in order to take care of your illness. No more $50,000 bill for the hiccups. No doctor errors. No unnecessary examinations. No screwed up surgeries or misdiagnosis. It would be the end of the healthcare industry as we know it. That is, until some huge corporation corners the market, purchases the rights to these, and then charges a huge monthly fee to residents. On second thought, let’s keep this between us.




3. The Enterprise from Star Trek – Yes, it would be cool to own the entire ship, however, I am specifically referencing certain technologies within the ship. I contemplated putting all these down individually on this list, but then half the list would be from one franchise. That said, the coolest tech would be the teleporters. The ability to travel from location to location instantly would be so incredibly useful – and fun! Next to that, there is the warp drive. Being able to travel an entire ship faster than the speed of light would open up so many worlds and galaxies to exploration (mmm – hot space aliens). The amount of knowledge gained would be incredible. Then, of course, there’s the holodeck. All your fantasies (even the ones you can’t discuss in mixed company) could come true! And, of course who wouldn’t want a machine that creates instant food?!


2. Lightsaber from Star Wars – You knew this had to be on here. The most deadly weapon in the whole galaxy, built for a “more civilized time”. Aside from a really powerful sword, it has multiple uses. It can double as a flashlight and it can cut through pretty much anything. It can even cut through those annoying plastic cases that stores wrap their products in! Any weapon that can cut through that is a weapon you need to have in your arsenal. Just, uh, don’t immediately point it at your face like a certain young Skywalker who shall remain nameless (*cough* Luke).


1. The DeLorean from Back to the Future II You can’t honestly say that you wouldn’t love to have a freaking time machine, especially one built in a DeLorean! Nothing says “I love to control time and space while being hip to 80’s fashion” quite like this machine. Of course, the best model came out in the second movie. It ran on trash people! That’s even more eco-friendly than a Prius. Don’t thank me, just tip your fedora and move on. Where this machine takes you, you won’t need roads!

By Bryan Kluger

Former husky model, real-life Comic Book Guy, genre-bending screenwriter, nude filmmaker, hairy podcaster, pro-wrestling idiot-savant, who has a penchant for solving Rubik's Cubes and rolling candy cigarettes on unreleased bootlegs of Frank Zappa records.

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