Hi, Bryan Here….

So, Michael Bay and his Platinum Dunes studios will be producing the new live action TMNT film that will come out on Christmas of 2013.  Michael Bay feels the need to change the origin story and make the turtles aliens from another planet.  I mean, the origin story is pretty clear of the turtles.  A chemically engineered ooze spilled over the turtles and they transformed into what they are.  Splinter (the rat who was covered in the ooze as well) taught the turtles karate and they grew up to be crime fighters and eat pizza.

Jonathan Liebesman will direct the film with Michael Bay producing.  Liebesman directed the horrible film, ‘Battle: Los Angeles’.  Hollywood really does fail upwards.  Describing the characters, Bay says, “These turtles are from an alien race, and they’re going to be tough, edgy, funny, and completely lovable.”  He also went on to say “Kids will believe one day that these turtles do exist when we’re done with this movie”, according to ScreenRant.


This is just insane.  Do we really need Teenage Mutant Ninja Space Turtles?  No we don’t.  I don’t like where this is going.  But i am happy to see that the pizza the turtles will be eating are considered vegetables now.  Your thoughts?


By Bryan Kluger

Former husky model, real-life Comic Book Guy, genre-bending screenwriter, nude filmmaker, hairy podcaster, pro-wrestling idiot-savant, who has a penchant for solving Rubik's Cubes and rolling candy cigarettes on unreleased bootlegs of Frank Zappa records.

8 thoughts on “Michael Bay Says That The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Will Be Aliens!!!”
  1. “Alien”

    1. a resident born in or belonging to another country who has not acquired citizenship by naturalization (distinguished from citizen).
    2. a foreigner.
    3. a person who has been estranged or excluded.
    4. a creature from space.

    Now, don’t you think it’s possible that he meant that these mutant turtles were #3 and NOT #4?

    He didn’t say a damn thing about space. He said an “alien” race. That means a race that is estranged, excluded, or different from those who encounter them.

    I’d say that’s actually an accurate description of the TMNT.

  2. The original story and origin was that they were in fact turtles. Just normal turtles that happened to fall in a vat of ooze that transformed them. Bay stated earlier that he was changing the origin story by making them an alien race. So why would he say he is changing the story if he only meant they were excluded. Turtles excluded? Let’s get serious here. He wants the turtles to be from planet cowabunga and meet the Transformers on the way and team up with Will Smith and Martin Lawrence. Add to that a few 1000 explosions and pizza…ermm I mean vegetables, and you got yourself the TMNT Bay wants. They should call it Teenage Ninja Space Alien Turtles.

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