May/2019

Mother’s Day About to Get Terrifying!

by Gumbercules9000 on Nov 18th, 2011

This movie is an example of what happens when you don’t know your mother as well as you thought you did. Or at least, in Hollywood’s eyes.

The story follows a few bank robbers who fail miserably and decide to head for the old homestead. Little do they know that their mother lost said homestead to foreclosure, and now the new owners are having a party.

What jerks. Don’t celebrate a birthday in MY house. At least I assume that’s the thought process.

The brothers take the family hostage and wait for the rest of the family to arrive. When Mother and sister come home, they find themselves in a rather sticky situation. Mother takes control of it, swearing that her sons will get out of this intact. Unbeknownst to her family, she turns out to be a bit on the sadistic side. Poor hostages. Didn’t know what you were getting into, buying a house like regular people.

The film stars Rebecca DeMornay(Lords of Dogtown), Shawn Ashmore (X-Men franchise), Jaime King (The Spirit), and Deborah Ann Woll (True Blood). It was directed by Darren Lynn Bousman (Repo! The Genetic Opera) and produced by Brett Ratner (Horrible Bosses) in addition to a lot of unrecognizable names.

The movie itself is a loose remake of a 1980 Charles Kaufman (When Nature Calls) film by the same name, but I imagine it’s a bit more like The Last House on the Left. After being on the shelf for a year, Anchor Bay Films has picked it up for distribution. It will be released in theaters in 2012, possibly on Mother’s Day. The irony burns.

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Movie Quotes

Skylar:
Well, let's see if you can get this one. I've got a little story for you. All right. There's an old couple in bed. Mary and Paddy. And they wake up on the morning their... fiftieth anniversary. And Mary looks over and gazes adoringly at Paddy, she's like, "Aw, Jesus, Paddy. You're such a good lookin' feller. I love you. I want to give you a little present. Anything your little heart desires, I'm going to give it to ya'. What would you like?" And Paddy's like, "Aw, gee, Mary, that's a very sweet offer. Now, in fifty years, there's one thing that's been missing. And uh... I would like you to give me a blow job. I would like that." And Mary's like, "All right." She takes her teeth out, puts them in the glass and she gives him a blow job. And afterwards, Paddy's like, "Ah, geez, now THAT's what I've been missin'. That was the most beautiful, Earth-shatterin' thing ever. Beautiful Mary, I love ya'! Is there anything that I can do for you?" And Mary looks up at him and she goes,
[letting beer spill out of her mouth]
Skylar:
"Give us a kiss!"
Good Will Hunting (1997) The Movie Quotes