Hi everyone, Bryan here…
I love Woody Allen movies and I imagine there will be quite a number of scenes in this column from his films. The first one comes from Annie Hall though. This scene just speaks to me so much and I think it’s a perfect capture of two people who were once in love, but still want to be in each other’s lives, even if it can be a bit awkward. Finding something to talk about to pass the uncomfortable time, or seeing new things in your former significant other’s place that make you question what new things they’re into now that you’re gone is delightfully funny to watch.
There’s a bittersweet feeling here, as you want Alvy and Annie to get back together, but also know that it’s just not the right time. With Allen’s neurotic sense of nature, as well as Annie’s incoherent emotions of their relationship, this scene perfectly shows just how much these two characters love each other, even though there isn’t that big spark of romance there.
In this scene, Annie phones her former boyfriend Alvy over at 3AM in New York to come over quick and that it’s an emergency. He rushes over in the middle of the night across the city only to find out that she wants him to kill a spider in her bathroom. There’s more to it than that. She misses him. Once there, he notices several things in her apartment that suggests she has been partaking in events or concerts that she would have otherwise turned her nose up while she was with him. Of course, he questions her change in thought and likes, to which she replies to see if he wants some chocolate milk. It’s too funny. Plus, Alvy reminds me of myself in this scene, especially when he kills the spider or at least tries to kill it.
INT. ANNIE'S APARTMENT HALLWAY Annie, looking slightly distraught, goes to open the door to Alvy's knock. ALVY What's- It's me, open up. ANNIE (Opening the door) Oh. ALVY Are you okay? What's the matter? (They look at each other, Annie sighing) Are you all right? What- ANNIE There's a spider in the bathroom. ALVY (Reacting) What? ANNIE There's a big black spider in the bathroom. ALVY That's what you got me here for at three o'clock in the morning, 'cause there's a spider in the bathroom? ANNIE My God, I mean, you know how I am about insects. ALVY (Interrupting, sighing) Oooh. ANNIE -I can't sleep with a live thing crawling around in the bathroom. ALVY Kill it! For Go- What's wrong with you? Don't you have a can of Raid in the house? ANNIE (Shaking her head) No. Alvy, disgusted, starts waving his hands and starts to move into the living room. ALVY (Sighing) I told you a thousand times you should always keep, uh, a lotta insect spray. You never know who's gonna crawl over. ANNIE (Following him) I know, I know, and a first-aid kit and a fire extinguisher. ALVY Jesus. All right, gimme a magazine. I- 'cause I'm a little tired. (While Annie goes of to find him a magazine, Alvy, still talking, glances around the apartment. He notices a small book on a cabinet and picks it up.) You know, you, you joke with-about me, you make fun of me, but I'm prepared for anything. An emergency, a tidal wave, an earthquake. Hey, what is this? What? Did you go to a rock concert? ANNIE Yeah. ALVY Oh, yeah, really? Really? How-how'd you like it? Was it-was it, I mean, did it ... was it heavy? Did it achieve total heavy-ocity? Or was it, uh... ANNIE It was just great! ALVY (Thumbing through the book) Oh, humdinger. When- Well, I got a wonderful idea. Why don'tcha get the guy who took you to the rock concert, we'll call him and he can come over and kill the spider. You know, it's a- He tosses the book down on the cabinet. ANNIE I called you; you wanna help me ... or not? H'h? Here. She hands him a magazine. ALVY (Looking down at the magazine) What is this? What are you, since when do you read the "National Review"? What are you turning in to? ANNIE (Turning to a nearby chair for some gum in her pocketbook) Well, I like to try to get all points of view. ALVY It's wonderful. Then why don'tcha get William F. Buckley to kill the spider? ANNIE (Spinning around to face him) Alvy, you're a little hostile, you know that? Not only that, you look thin and tired. She puts a piece of gum in her mouth. ALVY Well, I was in be- It's three o'clock in the morning. You, uh, you got me outta bed, I ran over here, I couldn't get a taxi cab. You said it was an emergency, and I didn't ge- I ran up the stairs. Hell - I was a lot more attractive when the evening began. Look, uh, tell- Whatta you- Are you going with a right-wing rock-and roll star? Is that possible? ANNIE (Sitting down on a chair arm and looking up at Alvy) Would you like a glass of chocolate milk? ALVY Hey, what am I-your son? Whatta you mean? I-I came over TV --_ ANNIE (Touching his chest with her hand) I got the good chocolate, Alvy. ALVY Yeah, where is the spider? ANNIE It really is lovely. It's in the bathroom. ALVY Is he in the bathroom? ANNIE (Rising from chair) Hey, don't squish it, and after it's dead, flush it down the toilet, okay? And flush it a couple o' times. ALVY (Moving down the hallway to the bathroom) Darling, darling, I've been killing spiders since I was thirty, okay? ANNIE (Upset, hands on her neck) Oh. What? ALVY (Coming back into the living room) Very big spider. ANNIE Yeah? ALVY Two ... Yeah. Lotta, lotta trouble. There's two of 'em. Alvy starts walking down the ball again, Annie following. ANNIE Two? ALVY (Opening a closet door) Yep. I didn't think it was that big, but it's a major spider. You got a broom or something with a- ANNIE Oh, I-I left it at your house. ALVY (Overlapping) -snow shovel or anything or something. ANNIE (Overlapping) I think I left it there, I'm sorry. Reaching up into the closet, Alvy takes out a covered tennis racquet. ALVY (Holding the racquet) Okay, let me have this. ANNIE Well, what are you doing ... what are you doing with- ALVY Honey, there's a spider in your bathroom the size of a Buick. He walks into the bathroom, Annie looking after him. ANNIE Well, okay. Oooh. Alvy stands in the middle of the bathroom, tennis racquet in one band, rolled magazine in the other. He looks over at the shelf above the sink and picks up a small container. He holds it out, shouting off screen to Annie. ALVY Hey, what is this? You got black soap? ANNIE (Off screen) It's for my complexion. ALVY Whatta-whatta yuh joining a minstrel show? Geez. (Alvy turns and starts swapping the racquet over the shelf, knocking down articles and breaking glass) Don't worry! (He continues to swat the racquet all over the bathroom. He finally moves out of the room, hands close to his body. He walks into the other room, where Annie is sitting in a corner of her bed leaning against the wall) I did it! I killed them both. What-what's the matter? Whatta you- (Annie is sobbing, her band over her face) -whatta you sad about? You- What'd you want me to do? Capture 'em and rehabilitate 'em?