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Angelic Heel Once More!

The one night that WWE goes extreme is known as Extreme Rules (shown on the WWE Network for FREE during the month of April to new subscribers). It is a night where the WWE Superstars put it all on the line in unique matches not typically seen on WWE programming. It is a night the WWE Universe gets treated to something exciting and special. Every title was on the line and the unexpected took place multiple times through out the night. Did you miss it? Find out what happened now!

 

 

Extreme Rules Kick Off

Neville

Neville vs Bad News Barrett

Winner: Neville

Bad News Barrett came out and delivered the WWE Universe some bad news. Daniel Bryan was not medically cleared to wrestle, in fact the goat was not even in the building. But BNB would not deprive the WWE Universe of watching him in action so he demanded that Neville come out and face him. The man that gravity forgot eagerly accepted the challenge and made his way to the ring in his spectacular fashion. The match that transpired was an absolute feast for the eyes.

As the bell rang Neville was quick in his attack and took Barrett off guard. But it only took a few minutes for Wade to adjust his game plan and ground the high flyer by yanking his legs out from under him and sending him crashing to the ring apron. From there he would fling the smaller brit into the guard rail and then keep him ground with a head lock. Neville would not be kept down. He continued to fight and demonstrated that he is just as strong as he is quick as he suplexed the much larger Bad News Barrett.

The WWE Universe witnessed the resiliency in Neville that the NXT Universe has known him to have as he kicked out of both Wasteland and Winds of Change further frustrating the 5 time Intercontinental champion. The end came when Barrett went to hit the bull hammer elbow on a dazed Neville but missed. The agile young man countered with a  swift kick to Wade’s temple, setting him up for one of the most beautiful moves in all of the WWE Universe. The longest reigning NXT Champion hit the Red Arrow and picked up the biggest win of his main roster career.

This match was exciting and one of those that was a nail biter from the get go. The way these two men worked with one another hints at great things in store for Neville, who has not had a bad match since his debut on the main roster. He continues to wow the audience and time and again he proves that he is more than just a high flyer to those not familiar with him. This win over Barrett could possibly thrust him into the IC title picture as Barrett is the #1 contender to the B+ Players title.

Extreme Rules

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Dean Ambrose vs Luke Harper

Chicago Street Fight

Winner: To Be Continued…

Extreme Rules began on the crazy side as Dean Ambrose and Luke Harper kicked off the show with their Chicago Street fight. What makes it different from a normal street fight one might ask? It’s in Chicago. Dean didn’t even wait for Harper to get into the ring before he tore into the swamp rat. The battle was a brutal brawl from then on out as the Lunatic fringe wasted no time bringing out the goodies. He wailed on Harper with a kendo stick like he was swinging for a home run. But Luke fought back and took control and returned the favor by giving Ambrose a taste of his own medicine and suplexed the Unstable one through a steel chair before taking up the kendo stick and punishing Ambrose some more.

The two continued to trade blow for blow, neither gaining the advantage. The action spilled out side the ring and into the back where anything and everything was used as a weapon, including production crates and cases of water. But things got weird when Harper tried to escape into an SUV. Dean jumped through the passenger window and Harper sped off leaving the ref and the WWE Universe wondering what was going on and where were those two bitter enemies going?

dolph

Dolph Ziggler vs Sheamus

Kiss Me Arse Match

Winner: Dolph Ziggler

This high stakes match began furiously as the Show Off took it to the Celtic Warrior early. It was a viscous brawl that spilled out of the ring early. But Sheamus weathered the initial excitement and took control and proceeded to beat Ziggler down with the powerful moves that the WWE Universe is accustomed to seeing from him. But Dolph, with his little engine that could attitude, took the fight right back to Sheamus with huge fore arm strikes and splashes into the corner that got the big Irishman dazed enough that the Zig Man was able to roll him up after a suplex for the 3 count.

A horrified Sheamus tried to insist that it was only a two count but the ref would not hear it. Not even a plea to the time keeper was enough to restart the match. Sheamus as the loser of the match would have to kiss Ziggler’s arse! After much bitching and moaning and false starts, it finally appeared that the big man would bite the bullet and kiss Ziggler’s well sculpted glutes when all of a sudden the Celtic Warrior turned the tables and low blowed and then Brouge kicked the winner of the match and then forced Ziggler to kiss the glowingly pale arse of the Celtic Warrior.

This match was very physical. both men were aware of the embarrassment that would follow if they lost the match. It was hard hitting but very enjoyable. I thought that Ziggler held his own against Sheamus very well but that Sheamus didn’t take Dolph too seriously and that’s what cost him the match. It was a giggle after the match to see all the teasing and a tease for my eyes as Ziggler both pulled down and hiked up his trunks to give the Irishman access to again, those VERY well sculpted glutes. Though the WWE Should have give us a bit of warning somehow that if Sheamus won we would need welders’ masks in order to deal with how blindingly white Sheamus’ arse is. Turns out, it’s whiter than the rest of him…

fact

Tyson Kidd & Cesaro vs The New Day

WWE Tag Team Championship Match

Winner: The New Day

This match was non stop action. From the on set of the bell these two teams did all within their power to own the other. But the fight that ensued made the WWE Universe the real winners. The two teams were evenly matched, each with a fast agile guy and a power house. A big high light of the night is when Big E attempted a cross body on Cesaro and the Swiss Superman caught the near 300 pounder as if he weighed nothing at all and then proceeded to toss him across the ring. The two teams continued to battle furiously and trade high impact moves but neither team remained in control for long as quick tags on both sides kept the action intense and at a fevered pace. It almost seemed like the end when Big E and Kofi hit their combine move, but Cesaro saved it for his team.

Kingston briefly had the upper hand as he tried to land a Trouble in Paradise on Kidd, but Tyson countered locked the high flier in the Sharpshooter. All seemed lost for the New Day but Big E  made the big save with a monstrous belly-to-belly suplex. The momentum again shifted back into he champions corner as they were able to hit the swing drop kick combo but Xavier Woods distract the ref so there was no pin. Natalya came up and slapped the taste out of Woods mouth but the distraction was all the other members of the New Day needed as Kofi rolled Cesaro up, held the tights and stole the win and the titles.

There was no slow moment in this match. When I say it was a fast and furious bought from bell to bell it was. Honestly this match surprised me. I figured this would be one of the weaker fights on the card but I was pleasantly surprised. This match drew you in and held you there and demanded that you watch it lest you miss something important. Everyone involved shown brightly and their in ring chemistry was off the charts. While I’d have loved the Fact Droppers to stay the champions, I am intrigued to see how the New Day handles being the new tag team champions.

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Dean Ambrose vs Luke Harper

Chicago Street Fight (continued)

Winner: Dean Ambrose

During an interview with the new WWE Tag Team Champions, an ominous black SUV tore back into the arena blaring its horn. Once stopped, Lue Harper spilled out of the back seat (wait.. wasn’t he driving?) The next thing the WWE Universe knows, the Unstable dean Ambrose is dropping an elbow on the New Day as he aimed for Harper, who narrowly escaped and fled back towards the ring.

Ambrose hunted his prey and flanked him for the Ambush and the to fought bitterly back to the ring. On either side of the ring the two began to fill the ropes with steel chairs. The two then rushed one another in the ring and traded blows. It almost appeared to be the end as Luke powerbombed Ambrose into the chairs and later buried him under them. But if there is one thing the WWE Universe knows about Dean Ambrose, he may go down, but he don’t stay down. The Lunatic Fringe battled his was back and showed that swamp rat that he was more than met the eye as he landed a dirty deeds on teh chairs to pick up his first singles PPV victory.

This match was a hoot. Dd not see them leaving the arena and then coming back happening. It was unexpected but when you think about it, so appropriate for a Dean Ambrose match. You never know what to expect when the Lunatic fringe is in the ring and that’s one of the things that makes him so exciting. I am proud of him for this win, seeing as the last time he won at a pay per view he was still calling Seth Rollins his brother. No joke. It’s True. This match was exactly what you would expect in other areas, in that you knew it would hurt like hell and be a nail biter.  Luke Harper gave as good as he got too. But I think he will think twice before messing with Ambrose again. There is no out crazying that kinda crazy.

cena

John Cena vs Rusev

Russian Chain Match

United States Championship Match

Winner: John Cena

This match was a glorified Tug of War match. Rusev took control early and laid a beat down on Cena. But every time it looked as if he had warn down the leader of the Cenation enough to begin touching corners, John would halt the Bulgarian’s momentum and bring the fight back to Rusev. A drop kick from the challenger nearly ended the champs reign but then a weird thing happened.  The Chicago crowd began to cheer for Lana, and she acknowledged them. This distraction infuriated Rusev who sent the Ravishing Russian back to the locker room.

Cena, ever the opportunist, took advantage of the distraction and attempted to five knuckle shuffle his way to victory, but the move was countered into an ugly Alabama Slam. But that wasn’t enough for Rusev to pick up the win as later he then locked in the Accolade in an attempt to make John pass out. But then the WWE Universe witnessed Cena, pick Rusev us and slam him into the corners in an attempt to break the hold. Once broken, John locked in the STF, also in an attempt to get his opponent to pass out.

But it was not enough for either man as neither passed out and the fight continued. In the final moments of the match, both men had touched 3 corners leaving one corner untouched. John Cena, used his strength and yanked Rusev into him for the Attitude Adjustment and then touched the fourth corner to retain the United States Championship.

This was easily the least interesting match of the night. Perhaps it was just my disdain of Cena, but It was difficult for me to be invested in this match. It did have its fun moments but there was nothing really in this match that set it apart (other than the chain) from matches we have seen before. Of all the matches of the night this one was the most disappointing.

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Nikki Bella vs Naomi

Diva’s Championship Match

Winner: Nikki Bella

Nikki and Naomi tore into one another and wasted no time as the bell rang. Naomi dominated much of the match as she controlled the champion with her aggressive style not letting the Diva’s champion rest for a moment. Nikki fought back and showed the challenger exactly why she was the Diva’s champion as she nailed hard hitting moves of her own but she was ultimately on the defensive for most of the match as Naomi pulled out moves like an inverted DDT, and a split legged moonsault that nearly got her the Diva’s title. But in the end it was the Bella bond that won the match for Nikki as Brie landed a kick to the challenger as she was on the ropes with the ref distracted that allowed Nikki to pick up the win over Naomi.

The ladies brought it. They were aggressive and intense and had a better match than Cena and Rusev. yep i said it. Nikki Bella had a better match than John Cena. I am actually looking forward to seeing how the rest of this story unfolds. It was an intense and emotional match as all the ladies involved have something to prove. And just gotta throw this out there, I loved Naomi’s color changing shoes.

roman

Roman Reigns vs The Big Show

Last Man Standing Match

Winner: Roman Reigns

The Big Show has been trying for weeks to knock Roman Reigns down, and keep him down. During their match at Extreme Rules, he pulled out all the stops in an effort to keep the Power House down for a 10 count. The world’s largest athlete asserted his dominance early using his strength and size to his advantage as he tossed Roman around as if he weighed little more than Hornswaggle.

But Reigns, knowing that he was facing a giant, employed toys from under the ring first as he took a kendo stick and began to chop away at the big tree that was the Big Show. Not even the use of a chair on the giant would keep him down for more than a 7 count. Big Show fired back and landed a KO punch on Roman, but it only resulted in a count of 8 before Reigns was back on his feet. Once back up, The Samoan Superman demonstrated his huge strength by Samoan dropping the Big Show through a table. But not even that was enough to keep either man down.

Big show pulled out all the stops as he choke slammed, speared and put Reigns through two tables that were set up out side from the ring. But Roman was bringing it as well as he gorilla pressed Show from the top rope, gave him multiple Superman Punches, and speared him through the barricade.

In the end it took a spear that sent both men shattering through the Spanish announce table to even daze the iant. but it was when Roman, showing out of this world strength, by picking up the English announce table and flipping it onto the 450lb superstar! To emphasize the point, Roman stood tall on the up turned table and counted along with the referee and the crowd to earn the victory over his giant foe!

This match was a surprise. It was so enjoyable and only had a few slow moments. Both men upped their game and it definitely did not feel like a typical Big Show match as the excitement was something that you could definitely feel. I will give some props to Show. He brought a bit more intensity than I’m used to seeing from him lately, but still I’m of the mind he is past his prime and needs to find a less physical role in the ring. To Roman Reigns haters, check him out now! He carried this match and made it enjoyable. This was his time to shine and he took it and passed with flying colors. I’m proud of Roman and you nay sayers can Suck it, now you are just hatin to hate.

ryback

Ryback Feeds on Bo Dallas

Bo Dallas graced the WWE Universe with his inspirational presence, however he made no friends in the Chicago crowd as he came down and made light of their lack of personal hygiene and other disparaging remarks. As he continued to harass the crowd, Ryback interrupted and made his way to the ring. As he rolled in, Dallas was able to get in a few good hits but it did little to Ryback as the Big Guy fought back and landed his Meat Hook Clothesline and followed it up with a Shell Shock to silence the Bo-liever.

Not sure what the point of this was but it was entertaining so I’ll take it. Don’t think this is a possible feud but more and more I’m beginning to believe that Ryback is Bray Wyatt’s next target. He keeps popping up after Wyatt sends us a message from his dark hollow that he hangs out in. And their are certain references to Ryback specific things such as his strength and his determination. Only time will tell and only Wyatt knows when the WWE Universe gets to learn the identity of his next victim.

seth

Seth Rollins vs Randy Orton

Steel Cage Match

WWE World Heavy Weight Championship Match

Winner: Seth Rollins

 So many questions going into this match, how would Randy handle the RKO being banned, where did Kane’s loyalties lay with all his personal issues with our beloved champion, and how would Seth fair without the Authority at his side? All these questions were answered, and yet more were asked when all was said and done.

As soon as the bell rang, Rollins attempted to scale the cage walls in order to end the match early (it’s not cowardice, it’s brains people. Work smarter not harder!) But the Viper was having none of it as he struck and pulled Seth off the walls and began to punish him with his fists. But Randy soon learned that if he threw Seth at the cage walls, he would stick to them like velcro more often than not in an attempt to retain his championship by escaping the cage.

Orton kept a steady pace in his attack, concentrating on a methodical beat down of the undisputed future of the WWE. But Seth, realizing that his title was in jeopardy switched gears and began to return the physical abuse that he was receiving. The match turned into an all out brawl, each man attacking and countering and showing how well they had come to know each other while team mates in the Authority and from past contests. Once Seth decided to win by pinning Randy, the match became more even with the offensive momentum changing second by second.

It became a nail biter as both men found themselves on top of the cage trading blows, one wrong move ringing disaster for either man. But the all that exchange ended with both men back in the ring and this prompted J & J Security to come out in an effort to aid their boss. The two attempted to climb inside the cage, but Orton flung the champion’s body at the walls knocking both men to the ground. Jaime and Joey attempted to get Kane (who was the gate keeper) to let them in but to no avail.

Orton continued to batter the champion and got creative since his finisher was banned, he decided to use a timeless finisher that shocked and awed the crowd. Randy Orton Pedigreed Seth Rollins. But our resilient champion kicked out of Triple H’s finisher much to the challenger’s frustration. As the savior of the WWE regrouped, The Viper lined him up for his career ending punt. But at the last second Rollins moved. Randy then shifted his motivation to ending the match by escape since clearly nothing he did would put Rollins down.

As Randy went to escape through the door, Kane refused to open the door answering many people’s questions of where his loyalties lay. Rollins took this opportunity to drop kick Orton causing the door to slam into and knock the Director of Operations to the ground. Orton and Rollins fought bitterly over who would escape first but that ended when an extremely irate corporate demon, slammed the door back into both men’s heads sending them back into the middle of the ring.

Kane then entered the ring and made a bee line for Rollins. It seemed as if he would attack the champion, but he shifted his focus and choke slammed Randy Orton. J & J Security made their way into the ring in an attempt to rescue Seth, but they caught choke slams as well. As Rollins attempted to exit the cage, Kane snatched him up and gave him a choke slam as well! But He then pulled Rollins on top of Randy but only get a near fall for the effort.

Kane, fully back on the side of what was best for business attempted to land a tombstone on Orton, but the Viper slithered out of his grasp and RKOed the Director of Operations. As Randy turned around, he caught a surprise RKO from Seth that laid him out. Rollins took this opportunity to escape the cage and retain his title!

This match was filled with excitement and intrigue as no one really knew which way it would go. It was filled with huge moves and surprises that kept on coming. As I said, some questions were answered, Orton, not able to use his finisher, stole from his former mentor. Kane, while conflicted and a bit misguided in his attacks, clearly came to his senses and stayed loyal to the Authority. But people are calling the victory controversial.

My question is exactly how is it. They answer, the RKO was banned. My retort, it was banned for Randy Orton, who used it first on Kane. Kane was the gate keeper and technically in the match, so when it was used on him that left it open for Rollins to use it on Randy. Orton broke the rules, Seth capitalized. No controversy. But what will be the ramifications of Kane flying off the handle? Will Randy accept his defeat graciously? Prolly not but it will be fun to see where the chips fall on Raw!

~Your

Angelic Heel

By Bryan Kluger

Former husky model, real-life Comic Book Guy, genre-bending screenwriter, nude filmmaker, hairy podcaster, pro-wrestling idiot-savant, who has a penchant for solving Rubik's Cubes and rolling candy cigarettes on unreleased bootlegs of Frank Zappa records.

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