Hi everyone, Bryan Here….

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I wish I had better news to write here, but unfortunately I don’t. For the past eight months or so, we here at Boomstick and across the nation, have all been excited and looking forward to seeing a new film called ‘The Interview‘ that stars Seth Rogen and James Franco. We’ve posted trailers, posters, and articles related to the film, which follows Rogen and Franco playing versions of themselves who are tasked with heading to North Korea and taking out the supreme leader Kim Jong-Un.

The trailers have looked hilarious and juding by films like ‘This is The End‘ (a movie where hell and demons inherited the Earth) and ‘Pineapple Express‘ (a film about marijuana and a drug cartel), I imagine this film would be set up similarly, in that we would have a great mix of comedy and action, none of which would be particularly threatening to anyone.

Well, as we have all read and seen in the news recently, some asshole cock-sucking cunts who hide behind fake names and computers have threatened the people at Sony by releasing private emails, finance records, and more. Big fucking deal, right? I know these things are private, and it sucks that a ton of big media outlets have posted and covered these private things (shame on them), but that shouldn’t stop a studio from releasing a film.

A few days later, these jerk-off hackers said they had Christmas gifts (how cute.) in the form of more leaked documents in the coming days if Sony did not pull the film. It looked like, at least for a while, that Sony was going to stand their ground and not take any shit. Homeland security even got in on the threats and said that these threats were just words and nothing to worry about. And I would imagine that Homeland security doesn’t fuck around with these type of things, especially since 9-11.

Speaking of 9-11, these dick-heads jumped the shark, literally and went from, “we are going to tell you what a studio actor made last year” to “expect some 9-11 type shit at all of your theaters if you release this movie. I mean, it’s almost laughable. Even homeland security has said these threats mean nothing and there isn’t sufficient evidence to back anything up. Now if North Korea is really behind this, we can all come to an agreement that they are all talk and won’t do anything. (Remember when they were threatening us with all their shoddy weapons recently?) As Dr. Evil has said, “Riiiiiiiiiiiight.”

And whoever is behind this has been hired out or has a personal vendetta against someone or some company associated with ‘The Interview’, but has no means to do anything else other than send leaked emails. And let’s face it, North Korea and the his hacker group have not even seen this film, and I’m sure if they had, they would realize just how good and funny the film really is. And more than likely has a good message and a lot of heart.

And even if North Korth Korea is the sole entity behind this cyber attack, do you really believe these hackers have the means to execute something this large. Hell they don’t even have cable or internet over there that goes further than whatever North Korea controls them to see or hear. This means that they most likely hired out someone else.

Now onto the big picture. By Sony choosing to not release the film, this has now set a precedent for future films and art. A nation that has stood up to terrorists and hackers on every occasion has now allowed these pieces of shit get their way and now we won’t get this funny ass film. Not only that, another film in the works set in North Korea with Steve Carell has now been cancelled as well. When did we start living in a world where hackers and terrorists are calling the shots here. It’s a sad day when our films and art are pulled because of threats from unknown people.

I feel incredibly bad for Seth Rogen, James Franco, and Evan Goldberg right now. What a terrible week they’ve had. All this work done, only to be pulled because of verbal threats. Sony should have stuck by their film and crew’s side and released the film. But what does all of this say for future films? If someone gets offended, (which it seems like everyone is offended or cries racism or rape at the drop of a hat these days), does that mean our art and films have a big chance of never seeing the light of day? Most likely. Hell, it’s already started with the Carell film and it hasn’t even been six hours yet.

And let’s not stop thinking about that one of the reasons Sony has cancelled this is because several big theater chains decided not to show the film, but Sony could have let any other smaller chain like The Angelika or Alamo continue to show it. Let the film be shown, guys and girls. Show these scared ass-clowns that freedom of speech truly exists and that we won’t be bullied by silly threats. But maybe this is the stepping stone for VOD to come out into the big spotlight, which is a good thing.

And as I’m writing my article, I’ve heard that the Dallas screenings for the film have been cancelled as well. What a bunch of horse-shit. Sony, now is the time to step up to the plate and stand by your work and the work of the people you employ. For this epic mistake, you should in turn release the film for free on all platforms for seven days, as a big fuck-you to whoever is behind this attack, which the Feds are now saying is definitely North Korea. But again, when as North Korea ever followed through on anything, let alone trying to destroy a comedic film with enough dick and fart jokes for three separate films.

But I encourage all of you to tweet, share, and facebook all you can about how excited you are to see ‘The Interview’ and encourage to get Sony off their asses and stop being pussies to release this film so we can all see it and say a big collective “FUCK YOU” to these amateur jerk off hackers.

 

By Bryan Kluger

Former husky model, real-life Comic Book Guy, genre-bending screenwriter, nude filmmaker, hairy podcaster, pro-wrestling idiot-savant, who has a penchant for solving Rubik's Cubes and rolling candy cigarettes on unreleased bootlegs of Frank Zappa records.

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