Our next trailer is for what appears to be a strange hybrid of rock and roll and horrorshow entitled Don’t Go In The Woods.

One might ask, what makes this movie any different from the litany of other slasher films set in the great outdoors?  In this one, our protagonists are an indie band who are looking for a record deal.  All I can say is that I certainly hope their agent doesn’t attempt to contact them with good news, given the fact that they all smashed their smartphones to pieces.  The screenwriters must have thought that simply showing zero bars available wouldn’t have been as dynamic a visual.

Our lead, who appears to be the lovechild of Lennon and McCartney, only wants to be alone with his music and away from the distractive influence of his girlfriend.  Why?  It could be because when he’s really into his singing he appears to be passing a sizable kidney stone.  That’s a turn-off, and he has to know it.

However, unbeknownst to him, Johnny Cash, a.k.a. the Man in Black, wants the woods for himself and starts killing off band members and groupies alike.  This is to be expected.  After all, there was a sign that clearly stated the name of the film.  I have to wonder if our Garboesque singer (“I vant to be alone”) will be spared so that the third act can include a powerful duet between him and the killer.

Don’t Go In the Woods is based on a story from Vincent D’Onofrio and directed by him as well.  Vincent is no stranger to oddball films, and it’s nice to see that he made no attempt at Oscar bait for his directorial debut.  Instead he’s gone with low-budget horror to tell what looks to be a very personal story of a boy and his guitar.

For those with a stronger stomach, I’ve included an additional clip that should give you some idea of the budget here.

It would seem that craft services was pulling double duty on the makeup effects.  Is that pizza sauce?

From what I’ve seen, I think this movie might prove a better listen than a viewing experience, assuming that some of the original songs from the band posthumously make it onto a soundtrack album.  If nothing else, this trailer proves that bears aren’t the only things that “go” in the woods.

By Bryan Kluger

Former husky model, real-life Comic Book Guy, genre-bending screenwriter, nude filmmaker, hairy podcaster, pro-wrestling idiot-savant, who has a penchant for solving Rubik's Cubes and rolling candy cigarettes on unreleased bootlegs of Frank Zappa records.

2 thoughts on “Trailer Analysis – Don’t Go In the Woods”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *